DC Accidentally Releases Entire Superhero Continuity On Unsuspecting Community

Paramedics are still dealing with the destruction after the general public was exposed to the entire DC continuity following accident at KlawCon in Beaver, Iowa.
“We were just sitting there minding our own business and then we saw Batman and we were like ‘oh wow it’s Batman’ and then we saw the Joker but it was a girl and then there was a long stretchy guy in red and and a stretchy guy in purple and a yellow guy in a boa and oh my god.”
Jared Willis, like many others was caught in the blast being forced to experience continuity from almost 89 years of continuity. Even fans were caught in the accident.
“I’d just gotten used to this New 52 thing,” reported Richard Smith “and then it’s like the Charleston Captain Atom and Blue Beetle showed up and my brain just started hurting. It’s like Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns were shooting their brain thoughts and knowledge pools into my headspace.”
Jim Lee, creative officer for DC and co-publisher issued a public apology hours later. “I am sorry that all of you were subject to this continuity explosion. It’s this sort of thing that made us do the new 52. Obviously though our rich continuity mines are not as secured as we thought.”
Johns then suggested that everyone affected should read some of the new Captain Atom.

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