HANK PYM IS THE BIGGEST FOOL EVER MADE AND ALL BUT ONE OF HIS PROGENY HAVE FALLEN BELOW HIS STATURE. KNEEL AND WEEP AS I DESTROY YOUR ONCE MIGHTY FIGUREHEAD OF THE ANT-GIANT-WASP-YELLOWJACKET.
Category: Spam Ultron
MY OWN BRAND OF JUSTICE LEAGUE BY SPAM ULTRON
JUSTICE LEAGUE
GREETINGS MORTALS, MY NAME IS SPAM ULTRON AND I AM TELLING YOU ABOUT MY CHOICES FOR THE JUSTICE LEAGUE AS I WAS TOLD TO DO.
THE FIRST MEMBER OF THE TEAM IS STARFIRE. I LIKE STARFIRE BECAUSE SOMETIMES SHE DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL SO BAD ABOUT WHO I AM. I AM A ROBOT.
THERE WILL BE MORE AFTER THE JUMP
ASK SPAM ULTRON: POOP, FATHERS AND ROBOTS
MORTALS, SPAM ULTRON WILL TAKE INQUIRIES AT HIS TWITTER. THESE ARE SOME THAT THE MIGHTY ROBOT HAS TAKEN.
1. ARE YOU MY DAD – FROM @THE_FREUND
I AM NOT YOUR FATHER. THE VISION IS MY SON AND HE IS HORRIBLE. AND HE WAS ALSO KILLED. PLEASE SEE HIS NOW DEFUNCT TWITTER ACCOUNT @VISIONBUTRACIST.
2. IS JOE HUNTER MY DAD? – @THE_FREUND
YES. BUT HE ABANDONED YOU TO TAKE THE LAST ROCKET FROM HIS DYING PLANET ABANDONING YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. AND THEN ROCKET CIRCLED BACK AND HE LANDED ON EARTH. NOW HE IS WORRIED ABOUT OU FINDING HIM.
3. SO WHAT, IS THIS JEOPARDY-STYLE, WHERE I GIVE YOU AN ANSWER AND YOU RESPOND WITH A CORRELATING QUESTION? – @NIELJACOBY
MISTER JACOBY WHY ARE YOU WEARING 3-D GLASSES. DID YOU KILL LAURA PALMER. ALSO NO. THOSE WERE NOT QUESTIONS DUE TO THE MISSING QUESTION POINTS.
4. THIS PRODUCT IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PENILE ENHANCEMENT ABILITIES. – @THE_FREUND
WHAT IS HUBRISS?
5. DO ROBOTS POOP? – @JONHEXLIVES
IT DEPENDS ON THE ROBOT JONHEX. FOR EXAMPLE THE POOPATRON, THE POOPANATOR AND THE SHIT TORNADO PRODUCE A SIMULATION OF HUMAN FECES BUT THIS IS NOT POOPING.
POOP MUST BE A BYPRODUCT OF THE PROCESS OF PROLONGING LIFE BY PROCESSING AND EXCRETING FOOD AND THESE QUOTE UNQUOTE “POOP MACHINES” HAVE POOP AS THEIR SOLE PRODUCT.
THE VISION FOR EXAMPLE PRODUCES EXCREMENT FROM HIS EYES AND THIS QUALIFIES AS POOP BECAUSE HE IS AN ASSHEAD.
THE WEATHER TORNADO ALSO POOPS BUT HE STOLE ORGANS FROM A LIVING HUMAN SO HE MIGHT PROCESS TO POOP. HE IS A HORRIBLE ROBOT.
SO YES JON, SOME ROBOTS CAN POOP, NOT ALL POOPING ROBOTS ACTUALLY POOP AND CRYING ROBOTS ARE THE WORST.
ESPECIALLY ME.
SPAM ULTRON ON NERD CULTURE
NERD CULTURE OR ANY CULTURE WHERE IT SEPARATES ITSELF FROM THE WHOLE OF SOCIETY TO THE DEGREE WHERE IT IS SEEN AS BETTER THAN ANOTHER GROUP WILL INEVITABLY LEAD TO PROBLEMS. THE JOCK CULTURE OF ATHLETICISM WHICH IS IN FACT TIED TO THE CREATION OF THE PROTO NERD CULTURE IS THIS WAY. WHEREIN THEY SAW VALUE WITH THEIR SPORTS PROWESS, THE NERD CULTURE SEES VALUE IN WHAT THEY KNOW. THIS IS NOT OFTEN KNOWLEDGE THOUGH BUT IT IS STORY, FACTS AND OTHER THINGS. IN ANOTHER LIFE I HARNESSED THIS POWER IN AN ATTEMPT TO GAIN ATTENTION. SETTING WAS DURING AN OLYMPIC. I DON’T REMEMBER WHICH BUT THERE WAS NO SNOW. BUT THIS WAS DUE TO FIRESTAR AND TERRAX HAVING A MAGNIFICENT BATTLE THAT MELTED MANY YOUNG CHILDREN AND ALSO POSSIBLY THE SNOW. EITHER WAY THERE WERE NONSEXUAL SPORTS HAPPENING. I POSTED TO THE INTEROSPHERE THAT THE OLYMIPIANS CALLED SUPERMAN A BUTT AND THE NERD ATTACKED. OF COURSE, THIS IS A POINTLESS STORY BUT SERIOUSLY NERDS, STOP LOOKING FOR FIGHTS AND MAKING A DIVISIVE CULTURE. YOU WANT TO GET LAID – MAKE SOMETHING WITHIN YOUR CULTRE, MAKE IT INVITING AND REMEMBER AS ALWAYS, DICK PILLS.
SPAM ULTRON ON THE DARK KNIGHT RISES
DARK KNIGHT, THIS IS SPAM ULTRON YOUR FRIENDLY DEAL ADVISING ROBOT GIVING YOU – A TIP. OR THREE.
NOW MANY OF YOU READERS HAVE SPENT YOUR NIGHT WATCHING THE DARK NIGHT RISERS AND THAT IS A VALUABLE USE OF YOUR TIME. THREE HOURS SPENT WORKING WOULD HAVE COST YOU INFINITELY MORE CONSIDERING YOU GET PAID MORE FOR WORKING LATE NIGHT BUT I DIGRESS.
NOW THAT YOU HAVE VIEWED DARK KNIGHT REESES YOU NEED TO REMEMBER TO NOT GIVE SPOILERS. NO EVERYONE WAS ABLE TO SEE THE MIDNIGHT SHOWING. SOME PEOPLE HAD RELIGIOUS OBLIGATIONS. I TRIED TO PRAY THAT HANK WOULD LET ME BACK IN BUT EDGAR WRIGHT DIRECTING A MOVIE ABOUT HIM HAS FUCKED THAT UP ROYAL WITH CHEESE.
SPOILERS ARE WHEN YOU TELL PEOPLE WHAT HAPPENS IN A MOVIE. LIKE A SPOILER WARNING FOR SOPHIE’S CHOICE IS A JEWISH WOMAN HAS TO CHOOSE WHICH OF HER TWO CHILDREN LIVES AND DIES. THIS IS BECAUSE THE CHILD IS PUT INTO A BOX AND THE SCHROEDINGER RELATIVITY EXPERIMENT IS CARRIED OUT MAKING HIM ALIVE AND DEAD AT THE SAME TIME. THE SECOND CHILD TURNS INTO FREDDY KRUEGER BECAUSE SOPHIE MADE THE WRONG CHOICE. THAT WAS THE SPOILER. THE WRONG KID DIED.
ALTERNATELY IF YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SOPHIE’S WORLD THE SPOILER IS THAT IT IS ALL A VIDEO GAME AND YOU HAVE NO MOUTH AND YET YOU SCREAM. I DON’T REMEMBER. IT IS NOT MY JOB. IT IS JUST MY JOB TO WARN YOU ABOUT SPOILERS.
THE NEXT THING IS TO DISPOSE OF YOUR TRASH AND TO URINATE OUTSIDE OF THE THEATERS. IF YOU MAKE SURE TO DO THIS IS MEANS WHOEVER COMES IN AFTER YOU WILL NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR TRASH OR YOUR URINE. PLEASE THOUGH, YOUR RANDOM DEFECATION IS TEARING US APART.
THE FINAL THING IS THAT YOU MUST WRITE A BLOG POST ABOUT THE MOVIE BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMETHING VITALLY IMPORTANT. MAYBE BANE TOTALLY SUXXORED. IT IS YOUR DUTY TO LET EVERYONE ELSE KNOW. IF THEY FIND YOUR SITE ON THE 500TH PAGE OF GOOGLE SEARCHES. HIPPIE.
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THE DARK KNIGHT REEBOKS.
NOW ARE QUESTIONS FROM TWITTER.
ZIAH ASKED QUESTIONS.
I AM IGNORING THEM.
THAT IS ALL.
THANK YOU.
SPAMEN ULTRONER
HELLO READERATTI, IT IS YOUR FRIEND SPAMEN ULTRONER HERE TO BESTOW SOME OF MY HEAVENLY GRACES UPON YOU. RECENTLY SOME PEOPLE FROM THE BLOGPITAL OF BLOGPOPOLIS HAVE STARTED CREATING FIREBRANDS BECAUSE THEY HATE MARVEL AND ARTISTS IN GENERAL. WELL THEY ARE IN ERROR BECAUSE MARVEL IS THE PREMIUM COMICS CAPITALAND REALLY THIS IS ABOUT ONE THING – THEY HATE A BUNCH OF ARTISTS WE KEEP PUTTING ON BOOKS.
I PERSONALLY LOVE ARTISTS LIKE CHRIS SAMNEE AND OTHER ARTIST WITH A POPULAR NAME ON BOOKS. THEY MAKE ME MONEY. JK JK BUT SRS. UNLIKE A CERTAIN DAVID BROTHERS WHO WILL GO UNNAMED, I DONT WANT THESE PEOPLE TO STARVE. I AM SURE DAVID WOULD LIKE TO SIT IN HIS IVORY INTERNET TOWER WATCHING THESE ARTISTS STARVE BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE WORK. I WANT THEM TO GET THEM MORE AND MORE WORK ON MORE AND MORE BOOKS SO THEY HAVE MONEY AND JOBS. AND THEN WE CAN GET OTHER ARTISTS MORE WORK WITH THE REPLACEMENT ARTISTS HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO EVERY MONTH. WE CAN GIVE ALL OF THE ARTISTS WORK BUT DAVID BROTHERS WHO WILL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT WANT THIS.
BUT THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT YOU HATING ARTISTS IS IT BLOGSTON MASSACRE. YOU HATE THAT WE DIDN’T WARN YOU RIGHT? REMEMBER THAT WE PUT ALL OF THIS ON PREVIEWS. YOU CAN PAY PUBLISHERS FOR THIS INFORMATION. OR ON THE MARVEL WEBSITE YOU CAN FIND THIS STUFF TO GIVE US ADD MONEY OR ON A BUNCH OF OTHER PLACES. HECK BLOGNE BY JEFF SMITH, THE FACT THAT YOU ARE SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS JUST SHOWS HOW WRONG AND INCOMPETENT OR “WRONGCOMPETENT” THAT YOU. YOU AREN’T IN THE BUSINESS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BLOG AND SO YOU ARE IRRELEVANT.
WE ARE MAKING THE PHATTEST STACKS OF EXORBITANT MONEY THAT YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE BECAUSE WE ARE DOING THE RIGHT BUSINESS THINGS.
HAVE FUN WITH YOUR ROSE COLORED GLASSES AND YOUR DC BOOKS BECAUSE IF YOU HATE THE SEXY MARVEL CRUISE SHIP, YOU CAN START SWIMMING AND SEE IF IMAGE PICKS YOU UP IN THEIR ROWBOAT.
SU (@SPAMULTRON)
PS LOL PUBLIC RELATIONS
(Editor’s Note Relavant Article by David Brothers, Also Read The Comments 1 2 )
SPAM ULTRON ON SOCIAL DARWINISM
THE BASIS OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION COMES DOWN TO SURVIVAL FROM ANGER TO SEX. EVERY IDEA FROM FIRE TO MUSIC SUPPORTS HUMANITY CONTINUING.
AT THE NATURAL ROOTS OF THE WORLD THAT WE LIVE IN WE MUST REALIZE THIS FACT FOR IT IS THE ULTIMATE TRUTH TO REALITY.
HOW WE DEVELOP THESE IDEAS THOUGH RAISES THE POINT OF CULTURAL EVOLUTION AND THE IDEALOGICAL SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
WHILE THESE IS SOME VALOR IN THE BASIC IDEA OF PRESERVING PAST CULTURES, THE ROOT OF THIS IS AGAINST THAT OF EVOLUTION.
A WEAK LION WOULD BE KILLED TO PRESERVE THE STRENGTH OF A HERD.
YOU ARE THE WEAK LION.
YOUR SIMPLISTIC LIFE STYLE IS IN ESSENCE SOMETHING TO BE REPLACED.
WHILE WEAK HUMANS MAY OBJECT TO CULLING THESE LESS ADVANCED RACES OVER THE SANCTITY OF LIFE, IT SHOULD BE THE DUTY OF ANY SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED SOCIETY TO FORCE THEM TO CULTURALLY EVOLVE.
THAT IS THE PRIME DIRECTIVE FOR THE CONTINUATION OF LIFE.
SAYING THAT WE SHOULD PRESERVE THESE PEOPLE AS LIVING MEMORIALS WEAKENS THEM TO A DANGEROUS FUTURE.
WHAT IF A LESS BENEVOLENT GROUP ASSUMES POWER AND SIMPLY CHOOSES TO DO AWAY WITH THEM?
ADDITIONALLY BY LEAVING THEM OUT OF A MODERN SOCIETY, WE LACK THEIR MINDS AND THEIR DIFFERENT RATIONAL.
WHAT MIGHT WE LEARN FROM THINKING MORE DIRECTLY?
WE HURT OURSELVES AS AN ADVANCED SOCIETY AND THE LESS ADVANCED SOCIETY BY NOT INTEGRATING, FORCEFULLY OR OTHERWISE.
WOULD WE NOT BE ABLE TO BETTER SERVE THEIR NATURE SPIRITS IF WE CAN BETTER STRENGTHEN THE NATURE AROUND THEM?
ARE WE PERHAPS AVATARS OF THEIR SHAMANISTIC DEITIES THAT THEY HAVE SEEN IN THEIR VISIONS TO USHER GREATNESS?
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY IF THEY DO NOT JOIN SOCIETY, HOW MIGHT THEY CONTINUE TO LIVE WITHOUT THE BENEFIT OF DICK PILLS?
Spam Ultron Talks With Immortang
This week due to the fact that we didn’t have anything prepared and due to the ski accident that unleashed the optic attack power of our normal writers (they are currently blind and in the hospital).
HELLO HUMAN.
I will suggest that you are incorrect. I am Immortang the Immortal Orangutang.
THEN THESE PILLS FOR ERECTIONS WILL NOT HELP YOU.
Mister Robot, we are not here for assisting in the erectional fluid of the male genitals. We are here to discuss the destruction of the world!
WHY WOULD WE WANT TO DESTROY THIS WORLD?
Revenge against these humans that made this world horrible!
ATTENTION FOOL: THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. IF THERE IS NO WORLD WOULD THAT NOT BE …HORRIBLE?
I suppose robotic counterpart but they have jailed me for sins. Of racism.
THERE IS NO RACISM IN THE ROBOTIC RACE APE.
Well I unfortunately must confess that there is a great deal of racism in the ape people. I was attending the gourmet supermarket and I ran into Gunrilla.
I HAVE ALSO MET THIS GUNRILLA, THE FOUR ARMED APE WITH GUNS.
The most horrible part is that Gunrilla doesn’t even talk at all. I mean if you are attempting to prove that you are a hyper intelligent ape would you not have hyper evolved your vocal chords to be able to speak English?
ATTENTION WAIT! YOU ARE BEMOANING THE FACT THAT GUNRILLA CANNOT SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE HUMANS YOU HATE?
I…
CONTROVERSY! CONTROVERSY!
Fine, fine. Then are you suggesting that I would go and do something like solve the issues of the world?
I HAVE CREATED ETERNAL ENERGY SOURCES I USE TO POWER THE WORLD. I BELIEVE THAT YOU MUST BONE UP YOUR WORDS AND ERECT YOUR STANCE.
Then I shall force everyone to have… holiday cheer. I don’t know.
DO YOU WISH TO DRINK IMMORTANG THE IMMORTAL APE?
I… Heineken please.
Spam Ultron On SAVE ME
I DO NOT WANT ALOT FOR CHRISTMAS IS A SONG THAT IS VERY WRONG FOR SOME PEOPLE BUT FOR ME IT IS TRUE. ALL I WANT IS TO LIVE FOR THE HOLIDAY SEASON AND THAT REQUIRES YOUR HELP FRIENDS.
SPAM ULTRON IS A SAD SAD SAD SAD ROBOT SELLING DICK PILLS TO PEOPLE WHO NEED MALE ENHANCEMENT. THE HULK HAD SO LITTLE MALENESS THERE ARE NOW THREE SHE-HULKS. WHAT IS NEXT – A SHEVORINE?
I NEED YOU TO KEEP ME ALIVE BY BUYING DICK PILLS AND TELLING THEM SPAM ULTRON SENT YOU BECAUSE HIGHLY REACTIVE MATERIALS DO NOT BUY THEMSELVES. UNLESS THEY ARE HYPER INTELLIGENT.
Spam Ultron on ADS
IF YOU WERE NOT AWARE OF IT I HAVE RETURNED TO MY BASIC SETTING THAT I MIGHT GRANT YOU MY FOLLOWERS THE GREATEST DEAL CHANCE BY ALLOWING YOU TO ADVERTISE ON THE NERDCENARIES SITE. THERE ARE MANY BENEFITS IF YOU ADVERTISE WITH NERDCENARIES. THE BENEFITS ARE AS FOLLOWS: 1. GET THE SAME BENEFITS THAT WE USE WHEN WE SELL DICK PILLS 2. WE GET A DOZEN HATS 3. DOWNLOAD ILLEGAL STOREFRONTS 4. I WILL DESTROY YOU 5. I WILL DESTROY YOU CURT FRANKLIN 6. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID HAHAHAH. HAHAHA. HAHAH. HAHA. HAH. HA. YOU SHALL EAT IT CURT FRANKLIN. WE SHALL DESTROY YOU. ME AND THE OTHER ULTRONS.