My Own Brand of Justice League By Jon Hex

Recently, DC released his image of Geoff Johns and David Finch’s JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA:

Weapons, weapons, weapons
Do you like diversity…and violence?

This is the U.S. government version of the Justice League, not to be confused with the U.N. version, Justice League International. The first thing that becomes one likely notices is that half of this team are non-powered weapon-wielding human beings. ¬†Also Catwoman can’t work a zipper. Brought together by some combination of individual need and/or blackmail, this is a team bought together to get results and represent America. Kind of like a parody of the Justice League written by the guy who writes JUSTICE LEAGUE which has become almost parody. Whoo, head rush.

Seeing this most uninteresting League has inspired Head Nerdcenary Herr to issue an assignment: put together a Justice League team.

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Green Lantern To Introduce 10 New Lantern Colors

In a press release today, Geoff Johns announced that he will be unveiling 10 new Lantern Colors in a new miniarc called TechnoChrome.

“You know that one Alan Moore ministory with the sound-y Green Lantern. Well the Green Lantern is basically going to just find all of these colors that we can’t see. And the new colors will be like ultraviolet or radon and they’ll be tied to emotion like hubris and incest. Also we want people to buy more rings and ring merch.”

The arc which will have a preview in next month’s Diamond Catalogue will run through the next two years only to be cancelled and concluded with a one shot after the next DC revamp.

DC Accidentally Releases Entire Superhero Continuity On Unsuspecting Community

Paramedics are still dealing with the destruction after the general public was exposed to the entire DC continuity following accident at KlawCon in Beaver, Iowa.
“We were just sitting there minding our own business and then we saw Batman and we were like ‘oh wow it’s Batman’ and then we saw the Joker but it was a girl and then there was a long stretchy guy in red and and a stretchy guy in purple and a yellow guy in a boa and oh my god.”
Jared Willis, like many others was caught in the blast being forced to experience continuity from almost 89 years of continuity. Even fans were caught in the accident.
“I’d just gotten used to this New 52 thing,” reported Richard Smith “and then it’s like the Charleston Captain Atom and Blue Beetle showed up and my brain just started hurting. It’s like Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns were shooting their brain thoughts and knowledge pools into my headspace.”
Jim Lee, creative officer for DC and co-publisher issued a public apology hours later. “I am sorry that all of you were subject to this continuity explosion. It’s this sort of thing that made us do the new 52. Obviously though our rich continuity mines are not as secured as we thought.”
Johns then suggested that everyone affected should read some of the new Captain Atom.