Secret Convention Items: The Single Canon Tintin Fancomic By Grant Morrison

Every year hundreds of thousands of people go to comic book conventions and unknown to them, like the fast food joints they eat at while at the cons, there is a secret menu of items. This is Secret Convention Items.

Fan’s of Hergé’s classic series Tintin are typically the rabid fans to the point where they will rip apart any fan works. As well, the family of the classic comic creator has famously fought with vigilance against any fan works or parody of the series. Unknown to many fans then is the existence of the only canon Tintin fan work created by a very young Grant Morrison in a chance encounter.
The comic depicting an extraordinarily trippy adventure through the metaphysical realms with the classic Tintin cast was penned by now famous Scottish comic writer Grant Morrison in his early days.
On a random encounter at a comic convention Hergé and Morrison met and discussed comics. Morrison was able to impress Hergé enough to look at his fan comic at which point to push the comic artist further, signed the book and wrote official art. Pictures were taken, proof exists but the unfortunate events that hit afterwards caused the comic to fall out of the public memory.
Morrison during a brief trip to the United State years later returned home to find his apartment looted and various early works stolen including his original ending for Animal Man. Among the missing work was the signed Tintin fan comic. When reported though, none of the stolen material or a criminal was ever found.
Then 4 years ago in the Sudan the stolen comics and scripts turned up during a brief military ku and the comics were sold to a traveling comics fan who had been trapped in the area at the time of the ku. The writer contact Morrison but was unable to schedule a meeting with the creator who apparently thought the entire discovery was a hoax brought by his clone from another universe.
After assessing the value of the box (somewhere about $420,000) the collection was divided up and sold at auction. Once again though, the night before the auction, the Tintin comic was stolen from the New York auction house.
It has appeared in various places but is currently owned by Daniel Smith of Lexington Kentucky’s House Of Heroes Comics. He is unaware of the value of the comic and has the comic worth thousands in the dollar bin.

Oni Press Unofficially Announces Scott Pilgrim Sequel

Via the Twitter feeds reports leaked about a new Scott Pilgrim sequel (or possibly prequel) that will be released in the future.
According to rumors though, series creator Bryan Lee O’Malley is not attached. Various writer and artist including Matt Fraction, Rob Liefeld, Declan Shavely, John Byrne and other have apparently made mention of their interest in the project.
O’Malley who has been mum about the topic so far had nothing to say.

Roommate Of Doctor Who Fan Realizes He Knows Too Much About The Series

Local college student Dylan Thomas realized in English today that he knows way too much about the British television series Doctor Who despite not being a fan.
“I was just sitting in English and the teacher commented that opening up a history books is like trip in the TARNIS with the Doctor. I corrected him that it was the TARDIS and then I died a little on the inside.” Thomas, a self confessed nerd who doesn’t actually care for the show ended up only making the situation worse.
“As soon as that class got out a few other people asked what my favorite episode of the series was and if I liked the originalseries more and who my favorite Doctor was. I just lied and said ‘Captain Archer,’ and then ran off.”
Thomas confessed that his knowledge mostly comes from his roommate John who “sits around all day watching the series and complaining about it with his friends.”
“I come home after night class and there he is watching some episode with horrible costumes since the start of the class. I once commented an episode looked interesting and then next thing I knew I’d fallen asleep 4 hours in and I was late for class. It’s not healthy.”
Thomas’ grades have been steadily dropping the quarter. “I just can’t focus on homework. That show – he just plays it incredibly loud. I don’t even know how he gets work done.”
Thomas has filed to move rooms and has even invited the RAs to examine the scenario but can’t find anything wrong.
“It’s like he has some perception filter so other people don’t get annoyed by him. I just don’t who what to do.”

Alan Moore To Star In New Swamp Thing Movie

While priorly secret production of a new Swamp Thing film was taking place, Alan Moore was discovered to star as the elusive Swamp Thing in the new pulp mockumentary film.
“Sure it looks like he is just a hairy dude in clothes but we can CG him after,” said the still anonymous director. “I mean we’ve got enough action scenes – he set himself fire and ran into the water, he fights some demons he summoned to worship him and he even piloted a boat while shooting a mounted gun. He is living with Swamp Thing swagger.”
Moore has seemingly been unaware of the film due to his current vacation in the Florida Everglades.
It is currently unknown what other actors will be staring in the adaptation of the film but due to the talk of Moore summoning demons he might actually play Swamp Thing and mystic enemy Anton Arcane.
More as it develops.

Cult-Favorite TV Show M.A.N.T.I.S. Returning As A Comic Book

M.A.N.T.I.S. Film Cover

Following in the footsteps of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Jericho, and other series taken away from loyal fans too soon, Sam Raimi’s nineties sleeper M.A.N.T.I.S. will also be seeing a second life as a comic series.

Picking up right where Fox’s cancellation axe landed, M.A.N.T.I.S. Season Two #1, written by former show writer Sam Hamm and drawn by Greg Land, will continue the following adventures of crippled, acronym loving superscientist Miles Hawkins who notoriously died in the final minutes of the show’s series finale.

“OUR Miles did, in fact, die at the end of the show, but as fans on the internet have argued for over a decade, an alternate Miles from 1994 STILL exists in 2026, living in a mysterious future altered by the previous Miles’ timeline changes. ”

Hamm tried to further explain the time travel logic that backs up this rather tenuous loophole in the minutiae that is M.A.N.T.I.S. mythology, but for fans of the underrated character, logic has never mattered much.

“I used to talk to JJ about it everyday on set,” former M.A.N.T.I.S. star Carl Lumbly said. The “JJ” in question is of course JJ Abrams, creator of the hit show ALIAS Lumbly used to perform on. It’s widely believed that M.A.N.T.I.S. was highly influential on JJ’s work.

A lot of the ground that Hamm and co. had planned to cover in the series over time has long since been accomplished by shows like LOST and FRINGE, both Abrams creations. Has the time for M.A.N.T.I.S. passed us by?

“Oh, almost certainly,” Hamm added. “But irrelevance has never stopped us before.”

Vertigo Comics Announces New Fable’s Spinoff S.N.O.P.E.S.

Vertigo announced a new Fables spinoff entitled S.N.O.P.E.S. today on their website to be penned by Fables Cinderella and recent Legion of Superhero/Star Trek writer Chris Roberson.
Roberson commented “We’ve seen this growing influence of the people and beliefs influencing and creating new worlds in Fables but where are these new stories – the ones that we get in emails from our relatives that go into the spam folder? A new world has showed up with a new America run through fear where almost every toy and food is made with killer lead, the government actually has death panels and the president really is a terrorist. These new Fables are planning to invade the real world to create the New America so it will be up to a group called S.N.O.P.E.S. to stop them.
In what seems to be a reactionary tale against the growing fears of the nation S.N.O.P.E.S. will talk an more action-y side of things – “explosions, motorcycle chases and all sorts of awesome stuff.”
Bill Willingham who is well known as a staunch conservative was not consulted over creation of the new series.

UNCANNY X-MEN Writer Kieron Gillen Gives Up

Kieron Gillen

He’s tackled video games, Asgard, and Britpop, but now, after a year writing Marvel’s merry mutants, Kieron Gillen is giving up.

“I just can’t take it anymore.” Gillen said. “Every single panel is a struggle. It’s like trying to cover every song from SMILE armed only with a vocoder and a very large bottle of absinthe, which is to say, a lot of fun to imagine until it’s how you pay your rent.”

Gillen, like many comic creators, grew up fantasizing about writing the X-Men. He had been co-writing the book with Matt Fraction before taking over the title full-time, a challenge he rose to gladly. The X-Men REGENESIS event, and the subsequent relaunch of the flagship UNCANNY title, are what sent him over the edge.

“New readers. Old readers. There’s no way to please everyone with this book. Do I explain what Nimrod is to the newbies, or delve deeper into Namor and Scott’s latent, homoerotic tension? There is no right answer.”

To clarify, Gillen isn’t leaving the title. He is just giving up trying to make it work. When asked what to expect from upcoming issues, Kieron had this to say:

“Phoenix comes back next month. I don’t know how or why, but she just does. I guess Bendis and the guys have some event for it next year, but she shows up in the new issue for us and she fights Thanos, who is trying to get Rogue to go out on a date with him. I can’t be arsed with consistency anymore.”

“It was a lot easier writing about cynical hipsters obsessed with Kenickie. You try explaining to your friends that you can’t come out for tea because you’re too busy researching The Brood.”

On the other side of the aisle, Jason Aaron continues to drink Wild Turkey straight while browsing reddit and churns out scripts for WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN with astonishing ease.

New Weirdies Found In Kirby Manor

As the ghost of Kirby continues to cause troubles at Marvel Comics, a new find by police in his California home revealed a collection of dead new weirdies trapped within the walls of the estate while police raided for any way to send the spirit of Kirby to rest.
Once thought to be simple creatures of Kirby’s imagination, the weirdies appearances have instead been thought to inspire Kirby to create the comics as the creatures from outer space spoke to him in an eldritch tongue that only Kirby, himself part space god, could understand.
It is still unknown if these new weirdies were an inspiration to a specific comic but according to the police report these “nightmare beasts that won’t grant me sleep any time soon” look somewhat like horses.
More on the story as it develops.

Bear Grylls, Batman Team-Up For “BATMAN VS. WILD”

Coming soon to Discovery Channel is a new reality series showcasing how to survive
in wild, urban areas. Bear Grylls of Man Vs. Wild and Worst Case Scenario will host
the program but will be the student this time as he is trained in urban vigilantism by
the “Dark Knight” of Gotham City, The Batman.

“It’s a great opportunity to showcase the abilities of The Batman and provide just a little
transparency to this new initiative,” remarked Wayne Enterprises and Batman, Inc. CEO
Bruce Wayne. “While not a complete look into how the Caped Crusader operates, I think
the people will be both educated and entertained with the new series.”

Bear, who films specials where he takes celebrities on expeditions, will be learning
how to track a suspect, evade street cameras and tackle multiple armed assailants with
non-lethal weaponry. “We’ve deputized Mr. Grylls for the duration of taping. He’s also
provided an insurance and incidental death waiver,” Commissioner James T. Gordon
said when called for comment. While the Gotham City police department has no official
stance on the authority of Batman, they wish to provide positive exposure of Gotham
City and its residents.

Batman would not respond to any requests for a comment through Batman Inc. or the
GCPD, but his current sidekick Robin left a note with one of the cameramen for the
series.

“This is stupid. -R”

Secret Convention Items: Cyclops Visor

Every year hundreds of thousands of people go to comic book conventions and unknown to them, like the fast food joints they eat at while at the cons, there is a secret menu of items. This is Secret Convention Items.

Cyclops Visor

Cosplaying has been a tradition for thousands of years with roots in the theatrical arts – we those early actors not playing characters in costumes – that idea which defines the cosplay?
A more recent trend though has been for functional costume parts from realistic extending adimantium claws to glowing Lantern Corp rings and Kryptonite hearts.
This week though we discuss the working Cyclops visor.
Cyclops, a member of the X-men uses his optic eye beams that have incredible force to knock back his enemies and to destroy obstacles. Due to an eye injury though, Cyclops must wear glasses to control the beams, lest they destroy things on accident.
Jared Blackman created 10 pairs of special Cyclops visors that are able to control and manipulate optic blasts according to him. That said though, nobody living has optic blasts to try out so the jury is still out. Also they may just be stunner shades.