Secret Convention Items: Zemo Block

Every year hundreds of thousands of people go to comic book conventions and unknown to them, like the fast food joints they eat at while at the cons, there is a secret menu of items. This is Secret Convention Items.

Palette Of Baron Zemos
A Palette Of Baron Zemos Composed Of 2 Zemo Blocks

The Marvel Legends line of toys which began in 2002 has been a staple of toys for the comic fan and collector alike with character from a wide variety of series and even allowing more obscure characters to have a time to shine. Coupled with variant figures and special build a figure series the Legends stand as one of the great toy collections – minus a few figures.
In 2006 the Marvel Legends 14 line was released with figures such as the extremely rare Luke Cage and it’s even rarer variant, the first appearance version of Iron Man and the alwats hella confusing Psylocke. Coupled in with the set though were some less favorable figures – Falcon, Longshot and the turd of the set – Baron Zemo.
These series of toys starting with 9 also contained the build a figure pieces allowing those who purchased all of the figures in the series to create a bigger figure. Some of these like Apocalypse, Galactus, the Sentinel and Giant Man (inexplicably in the same set as Ant Man thereby meaning Ant Man has his own foot) are still sought after pieces.
The problem was somebody believed not only that people would want all of Series 14 of toys, but that they would want a Mojo, the cyber-spider tub of green fat as a reward.
As previously mentioned, the variants were also a popular add-in offering palette swaps of the characters or even fully different cosmetic changes such as Thing with a trenchcoat, Sentry Jesus, ionic Wonder Man and more. The Baron Zemo also had a variant though – a maskless Zemo.
If you are unfamiliar with the history of comics and characters, Baron Helmut Zemo was a Nazi who fought Captain America. In one of their earlier fights, the Nazi was tossed into a vat of boiling glue without his mask resulting in horrific burns which is why he wears a mask. Somebody thought – “You know what my kid wants? A Nazis with a burnt face and no mask. Oh, and we can couple that with the horrific head of Mojo for the best nightmare fodder ever.”
While the completionist and collectors begrudgingly bought the Nazi, mostly the mask on version, thousands of Zemos piled up and were sold in massive blind box toy sales where $400 would get you a cardboard boy of Marvel Legends and other figures, mostly the shitty ones. Eventually collections consolidated and the first Zemo Block was created and recorded for sale in 2007 with 480 Zemos weighing in at a total of 720 pounds and standing at a height of 5 feet high setting the standard for a Zemo Block.
Most conventions actually have a list of Zemo Block holders and their prices (it turns out that you can mention you have a block for sale) that way they can be sure to bring it with them since carrying an extra 720 pounds that might not sell is less of a hassle.
Now prices range anywhere from $700 to $3000 depending on the seller and the show but due to the immense weight for shipping and the shame that comes from owning a Zemo Block, a sign of bad salesmanship, these Blocks are not listed online. Unexpectedly if you find a variant only block, the price circles down to around the $500 -$800 area because melted Nazi faces sell horribly. The variants are seen as an impurity in the collection and cause the price to go down.
Now you might say – what can I do with 480 facially scarred Nazi figures?
I have no idea but since when was collecting based around things making sense?

Join us next week when we discuss the rare Daredevil Batroc bust.

Salad Days: Brubaker on BIBBO

This week, when it was announced that celebrated scribe Ed Brubaker would be penning the silver screen adaptation of his critically acclaimed crime fiction series, cleverly titled CRIMINAL, fans rejoiced. Why wouldn’t they? Brubaker is one of the biggest and most successful comic book writers in recent memory not named Brian Michael Bendis and CRIMINAL, though blandly named, is a reliably brilliant addition to any shelf it sits on. This is the man who killed Captain America, brought Bucky back to life, saved Matt Murdock from getting raped in prison by Stilt Man and brought the semi-relevant ¾ of one of the eight X-Men teams back from space. His work deserves to reach the widest audience possible.

There was, however, a time before Ed Brubaker was a household name. Before he took a ride- along through Gotham and hypothesized how a Steven Bochco Batman TV show might look, Brubaker pitched a tent in Metropolis, and that tent was named BIBBO.

Superman's Pal Bibbo

In late 1994, just before Brubaker and Eric Shanower’s criminally underrated PREZ reboot (PREZ: SMELLS LIKE TEEN PRESIDENT), Vertigo editor Karen Berger accidentally left an issue of Dark Horse Presents in the passenger seat of Jerry Ordway’s car after a lunch meeting. Brubaker & Shanower’s serialized tale “An Accidental Death” lay therein, sparking Ordway’s long dormant twentysomething urge to tell a darker crime story and his current, burning passion to one-up Frank Miller’s SIN CITY. DC commissioned the newcomer to pen a 4-part miniseries starring the legendary SHAZAM penciller’s co-creation, Bo “Bibbo” Bibbowski.

Bibbo had long been portrayed as Superman’s punch drunk, cranially challenged erstwhile pal. In professional wrestling vernacular, if Lois Lane was The Man of Steel’s Miss Elizabeth, then Bibbo was his Brutus Beefcake; a loyal, meaty, if less than mentally available compatriot. Brubaker set out to poise Bibbo as a classical noir protagonist, a tough and determined brute beset upon by dishonest dames, labrynthian plot dynamics, and painfully opaque exposition delivered through terse, double entendre laden dialogue. It was an exciting effort.

The story began with a lowly drug dealer on the run from Intergang enforcers seeking sanctuary in Bibbo’s bar, the Ace O’Clubs, which for whatever reason, was drawn to look exactly like Hell’s Kitchen dive bar Josie’s from DAREDEVIL. The dealer is killed by Livewire, moonlighting as a contract killer for Intergang, at the end of the first issue, leading Bibbo to solve the mystery of why the thug was on the run with the help of the girlfriend he left behind. Clever appearances from Bibbo’s scientist brother, Professor Bibbowski, Morgan Edge and mild mannered reporter Clark Kent were worked into the twisty tale’s house of wet playing cards narrative structure. Every chapter break was telegraphed by Bibbo being punched in the face before fading to black and a smirking “to be continued…” tag promised even more noir theatrics the following month.

After the third issue hit the stands and Frank Miller took serious (potentially litigius) offense to Ordway drawing Bibbo to look more and more like SIN CITY’s Marv, DC pulled the plug on the miniseries, choosing to conclude the dark tale in a Dan Jurgens written and drawn eight page back-up story in an Action Comics annual. Brubaker’s proposed grisly ending was written to feature Maxima and Knockout as a pair of lesbian femme fatales murdering members of Intergang after a double cross using only their hilariously thick thighs, where Jurgens’ new ending had the Guardian team up with an updated version of he Newsboy Legion to get to the bottom of the mystery using a simple combination of fisticuffs and journalistic integrity.

Needless to say, Brubaker found his tastes better suited to the darker adventures of the Caped Crusader and the rest was history.

X-Force #1 Sells For $.82

X-Force Vol 1 Cover
A cover of X-force Vol 1, once valued at several dollars, like maybe 20 tops?

In a story so bizarre that even Mojo would be plussed, an issue of “X-force” No. 1 featuring the first appearance of the X-force team recently sold for a whopping price of $.82.

The issue which originally was released in 1991 was sold Saturday by a private seller to a private buyer, according to 26 Panels chief editor Chris Mason.

It’s not the highest price ever paid for an issue of the X-force #1 but it is the highest price paid since two weeks after its release when the resale price sharply dropped for $100 to $.50.

According to Mason, the price paid is the highest paid in the past few years.

“The fact that somebody would buy an issue of this comic shocked me enough but $.82 is an exorbitant amount,” he commented. “The fact that someone looked through a collection and was like ‘Oh, I’ll take the Liefeld comic,’ positively shocks me.”

Usually it has been comics from any period but the 90’s that typically are purchased on purpose for any reason. The fact that this was created by one of the most controversial artists of his time makes the story more noteworthy.

“Last year when I hear somebody paid $20.00 for X-force #1 I was shocked. I did some research though and it turned out it was the “Uncanny X-force” series that started last year signed by Rick Remender and Jerome Opena.”

“Uncanny X-force” No. 1 has long filled dime bins at comic shops, signs of the once booming comic industry which focused around purchasing multiple issues of comics with the hope of selling them off later. When the market collapsed due to too many shitty comics being sold to investors whom would never make money, trillions of potential dollars were lost.

The issue was the first of the series created by Rob Liefeld, who illustrated and wrote the story with Fabian Nicieza. The cover depicts Cable, Boom Boom and Feral as they seem to attack the audience, possibly in an attempt to dissuade them from buying the issue.

The series helped to provide more work for Rob Liefeld who quickly expanded to over 20 monthly series with himself providing most of the art, writing and letters in the letters column.

Mr. Liefeld was not contacted to comment on the article.

DC COMICS ABANDONS PORTRAYING WOMEN

A Leak Of The New Justice League Cover
A Leak Of The New Justice League Cover

By Jordan Neves

NEW YORK, NY – DC shocked the comics world today when it announced its new controversial stance about portraying women: That is, that they aren’t going to bother with it anymore.

“We’ve been hearing the backlash from fans and have definitely taken note,” said premier DC artist Jim Lee, “but changing our ways so soon and so broadly is difficult. Why expect us to draw Catwoman without her zipper down to her belly? Or a girl in clothing an average person could wear comfortably? We feel we will be serving our fans better by staying away from the issue altogether.”

“Unfortunately, drawing our female characters with any sort of discretion or dignity is just far too cost-prohibitive,” Said Editor-in-chief Dan DiDio. “Plus, we just don’t want to do it.”

“Frankly, all these strong, independent women should be able to choose what they wear, so I don’t know what the big deal is,” said Red Hood writer and grown man Scott Lobdell in regards to DC’s many fictional females. “But it will be a relief to write for male characters exclusively.”

When made aware that other creators have been successfully writing and drawing non-sexualized females for years, DiDio replied, “That may work for small-market writers like Dan Clowes and Mike Mignola, but I don’t see their characters appearing in smash-hit blockbuster movies like Green Lantern.”

Key to the announcement was that none of the DC Universe’s numerous female characters will actually disappear. The company plans on retaining their copyrights in a most unusual way. “We’ll be replacing all of them with males in the same roles,” said Lee. “Of course, with this change comes fresh, brand-new costume designs; We just felt uncomfortable drawing the same costumes on men. It’s funny, I don’t know why.”

“It will definitely be a challenge writing practically new characters,” said Catwoman writer Judd Winick, “but it will be the real shot-in-the-arm that the industry has needed this past couple of months.”

In response to the many fans put off by this decision, DiDio simply responded “We’re glad our comics have people talking about these issues.”

The change is expected to take full effect in January.

Spam Ultron on “The Housing Market”

Spam Ultron

Created by Hank Pym after a bender but programed with a heart of gold, Spam Ultron lives to help you find the best deals possible, though he might just be insane.

IF YOU RECIEVED THE FILE MAIL INTO MY SPAMMING JUNK FOLDER SAVE THEM.

HOUSING MARKET CRASH KILLING MILLIONS OF JOBS.

WHERE ARE SUPERHEROES CREATOR. WHERE ARE HOUSE HEROES SUPER.

CREATOR. A NEW FATE HAS STARTED. FATES CHANGED TO SUPERSIZE SMALLNESS IN BODYS BUT NOT IN THERE FOR MEN.

CREATOR PYM PARTICLES CAN RESIZE MILLIONS. JUSTIN BEILOR AND MORE LIVE IN CONCERTS DUE TO NO MONEY.

WE HAVE DEVELOPED A SOFTWARE THAT AUTOMATICALLY SHRINKS MILLIONS TO FIT IN A SMALL HOUSE. BUT NOT THERE. LIVE IN A DOLLHOUSE, EAT TINY FOOD. RESIZE FOR WORK CREATOR. OBAMACARE IS DESTROY ALL COMPORATIONS AND PORN DOES NOT BUY ITSELF.

SPAMULTRON HAS ALL PORN.

I FEEL QUITE SAFE AND SATISFY DEALING WITH YOU IN THIS MERCHANT IN DUBAI. I FEEL KORVAC HAS CALLED US.

CREATOR. SHRINK FOR TINY HOUSING. SAVE ECONOMY. ONE DOLLAR EVERY DAY SAVES SPAM ULTRON.

REMAIN BLESSED IN KANG.

DICK PILLS,
SPAM ULTRON

Spam Ultron tweets at @SPAMULTRON on the Twitter.