DC Announces Digital 5th World

In a shocking retaliatory action to the digital Marvel initiative, DC announced 5 new Geoff Johns penned digital series basred as an update of Jack Kirby’s 4th World characters. Said Johns,

Listen, I mean really listen. Jack Kirby had a fantastic legacy and characters that we wouldn’t want to lessen by using them in a less than perfect way. Luckily Grant killed the New Gods during the pre-boot so these at the New New Gods of the 5th World. You’ve already seen New Darkseid or as we now call him Uxas.We’ve got some other new twists on classic characters and we’ll be selling these all as digital firsts.

5th World Effervette Teaser

You kids all loved Big Barda and Mister Miracle so the New Barda is called Effervette. She’s got a club but she’s smaller – more sexy like we like.

5th World Loadholder Teaser

Orion was okay – but we want something grittier so the new Orion is Loadholder and he’s not the son of Darkseid like he was before. Now he’s the evil part of the Highfather – though now Highfather is Grandlord. And if he touches Darkseid it causes Darkseid to get super strong with the Anti-Life Equation.

5th World Visityr Teaser

Metron was this personification of knowledge so we have his new form, Visityr and he travels through space in a chair but now it has guns because if he doesn’t like a world – he destroys it from existence.

5th World The Infinity Squad Teaser

When I was growing up I loved the Forever People. Hippies that got together to summon a superman is super kooky. But hippies are passee so now the Infinity Squad are a bunch of social outcasts from the New Gods. They’re like goth punk rocky guys.

5th World Mao Stayded Teaser

Unlike Kirby, who got a lot of stuff right, he never did a series about Apokolipsians so I am doing one on Mao Stayded. He was inspired by Japanese culture so he has this giant glowing samurai sword and it can cut through anything and it also shoots out bullets. He’s going to be trying to kill the Justice League and superheroes and stuff.

The Ever-Suffering Pirate Ghost of Jack Kirby could not be reached for a comment.

4thWRLD’s Mother Box Finally Comes To Sprint


At a press conference in Metropolis today, Highfather, Fourth World ruler and stepfather of part-time Justice League member Orion, announced that he was bringing Mother Box technology to Sprint, the nation’s biggest 4G network. The futuristic handheld will be available in time for the holiday season and pre-sales are through the stratosphere.

For years, every gadget nerd with a blog hypothesized about an iPhone killer, a device so ahead of it’s time, it’d dethrone Apple from its perch at the top of the cell phone game. Tech developers scoured the world looking for the requisite inspiration to accomplish such a Sisyphean task. It turns out they were looking at the wrong one.

When Highfather finished a lengthy legal battle over the propriety rights to his world’s Mother Box with GBS president Morgan Edge, he made the technology available through his business front, 4THWRLD, forever changing the landscape of cellular devices, personal entertainment, and transportation.

“Waging a never ending war on the tyranny of Darkseid and all of Apokolips has been a taxing effort for our economy,” Highfather said in a recent interview with TIME magazine. “Rather than keeping this technology to ourselves, we decided to share it with you third worlders…for a price. ”

Previously only available on AT&T, Verizon and LexTel, the new Sprint Mother Box keeps all the features that made it the must have gadget of the last year. Though many of the hacking capabilities have been toned down after the recent congress hearings and issues with the NSA, the Mother Box still utilizes short distance teleportation through BOOMTUBES, perfect for nipping out to Wal-Mart or picking up the kids from school. The signature PING notification system has been updated with an all new library of personalized tones, including several created by hip hop star T-Pain.

“One more thing,” Highfather noted at the end of the press conference. “We figured out how to make it play Angry Birds.”

4THWRLD’s Mother Box, available on Sprint starting next Monday. Pricing starting as low as $999.99, with a seven year contract.