Marvel/Disney Announces Ultimate Spdyerman

Marvel Films Ultimate Spider-man/Spyderman

Marvel/Disney announces new Spidey film – make that Spydey film with Donald Glover (Community, Childish Gambino) as Miles Morales at ComicCon Panel!


Disney will soon be bringing the character of Miles Morales, the “ultimate Spider-Man”, to the big screen as Ultimate Spyderman! so as to make a Spider-Man movie without utilizing the rights Sony has to Peter Parker and Spider-man. Sources say that the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe writer, J. Michael Stracyznski, was initially tapped to write the upcoming blockbuster, until he bit a visiting producer in the hand while screaming about “IP’s! MINE! CREATIVE OWNERSHIP! I WROTE IT FIRST!,” cackling, and leaping out an open window onto a passing pillow delivery truck. Since then, details have been sparse, but rumors are swirling that the next writer will have a name that begins with a “Mark Millar” and will attempt to write an urban script based on racial stereotypes. A mysterious note painted on the wall presumably by Millar was noted as saying “A black superhero? More like – anti-hero? Go Scotland! Suck it Morrison! Hit-Girl is my waifu!”

Although the complete plot of the movie has is currently undefined and therefore secret, Head of Marvel Marketing, Stanley Byrne, said that “we’re very excited to be bringing Miles to the big screen! Of course, Peter, I mean, Pat Porker, will show up for a small cameo.” When asked if we would have to endure seeing Peter’s origin for the 11th time, Byrne gave a wink and replied “Maybe!”.

When asked about the upcoming project, sole creator of the original Spider-Man, Stan Lee remarked: “Excelsior! I love Spider-Man! When Brian [Michael Bendis] came to me and said let’s do a Spider-Man. A new one. A different one. A Spider-Man for a new generation. My generation. Even your generation. All generations. A Spider-Man…. [cut for space] I gave him my full support. I love Pete-… Miles Parker”

Steve Ditko’s ghost could unfortunately not be reached, despite the sacrifice of 7 goats, 4 pidgeons, and 1 intern.

Ziah Grace

Ziah works at a comic shop and has seen Space Jam. You can contact Ziah at zbg333 [at] gmail [dot] com