At a press conference in Metropolis today, Highfather, Fourth World ruler and stepfather of part-time Justice League member Orion, announced that he was bringing Mother Box technology to Sprint, the nation’s biggest 4G network. The futuristic handheld will be available in time for the holiday season and pre-sales are through the stratosphere.
For years, every gadget nerd with a blog hypothesized about an iPhone killer, a device so ahead of it’s time, it’d dethrone Apple from its perch at the top of the cell phone game. Tech developers scoured the world looking for the requisite inspiration to accomplish such a Sisyphean task. It turns out they were looking at the wrong one.
When Highfather finished a lengthy legal battle over the propriety rights to his world’s Mother Box with GBS president Morgan Edge, he made the technology available through his business front, 4THWRLD, forever changing the landscape of cellular devices, personal entertainment, and transportation.
“Waging a never ending war on the tyranny of Darkseid and all of Apokolips has been a taxing effort for our economy,” Highfather said in a recent interview with TIME magazine. “Rather than keeping this technology to ourselves, we decided to share it with you third worlders…for a price. ”
Previously only available on AT&T, Verizon and LexTel, the new Sprint Mother Box keeps all the features that made it the must have gadget of the last year. Though many of the hacking capabilities have been toned down after the recent congress hearings and issues with the NSA, the Mother Box still utilizes short distance teleportation through BOOMTUBES, perfect for nipping out to Wal-Mart or picking up the kids from school. The signature PING notification system has been updated with an all new library of personalized tones, including several created by hip hop star T-Pain.
“One more thing,” Highfather noted at the end of the press conference. “We figured out how to make it play Angry Birds.”
4THWRLD’s Mother Box, available on Sprint starting next Monday. Pricing starting as low as $999.99, with a seven year contract.