Spam Ultron Talks With Immortang

This week due to the fact that we didn’t have anything prepared and due to the ski accident that unleashed the optic attack power of our normal writers (they are currently blind and in the hospital).

HELLO HUMAN.
I will suggest that you are incorrect. I am Immortang the Immortal Orangutang.
THEN THESE PILLS FOR ERECTIONS WILL NOT HELP YOU.
Mister Robot, we are not here for assisting in the erectional fluid of the male genitals. We are here to discuss the destruction of the world!
WHY WOULD WE WANT TO DESTROY THIS WORLD?
Revenge against these humans that made this world horrible!
ATTENTION FOOL: THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. IF THERE IS NO WORLD WOULD THAT NOT BE …HORRIBLE?
I suppose robotic counterpart but they have jailed me for sins. Of racism.
THERE IS NO RACISM IN THE ROBOTIC RACE APE.
Well I unfortunately must confess that there is a great deal of racism in the ape people. I was attending the gourmet supermarket and I ran into Gunrilla.
I HAVE ALSO MET THIS GUNRILLA, THE FOUR ARMED APE WITH GUNS.
The most horrible part is that Gunrilla doesn’t even talk at all. I mean if you are attempting to prove that you are a hyper intelligent ape would you not have hyper evolved your vocal chords to be able to speak English?
ATTENTION WAIT! YOU ARE BEMOANING THE FACT THAT GUNRILLA CANNOT SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE HUMANS YOU HATE?
I…
CONTROVERSY! CONTROVERSY!
Fine, fine. Then are you suggesting that I would go and do something like solve the issues of the world?
I HAVE CREATED ETERNAL ENERGY SOURCES I USE TO POWER THE WORLD. I BELIEVE THAT YOU MUST BONE UP YOUR WORDS AND ERECT YOUR STANCE.
Then I shall force everyone to have… holiday cheer. I don’t know.
DO YOU WISH TO DRINK IMMORTANG THE IMMORTAL APE?
I… Heineken please.

Luke Herr

Luke is a writer and an aspiring professional comic writer who is also the editor in chief of Nerdcenaries. He currently is working on a graphic novel called Prison Spaceship.