Pitch Week – That Nerd Kid Was Wrong

I was watching the truly horrible The Howling Reborn (2011), when I realized I hated a certain kind of character: the nerd who knows everything about the monster. In these movies where the characters seemingly have the same kind of diverse monster literature and movies, there is one person who knows almost everything about whatever is doing the killing. Despite how contradictory most lore is, whatever Evil Ed/emo Ali Larter from Final Destination/Hispanic guard in Devil says is spot-on truth.

I want there to be a movie where the protagonist goes to the horror fanatic/gypsy carnie/emo girl and every last tidbit of monster defense is completely wrong. “Vampires can’t enter your home without being invited.” The vamp kicks down the door and pimp walks in. “A werewolf only turns on the full moon.” The werewolf is turning at night, or even at will. “A sasquatch just want to be left alone.” He keeps kill trophies.

As far as who would direct or star in this sarcastic masterpiece, I don’t really care. A director who doesn’t equate gore with scary and actors who can act is all I would like to make my vision a reality.

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