Cable Explains Daylight Savings Time

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An hour forward in the spring. An hour back in the fall. The clocks shift, but things stay the
same. Some things don’t. The Askani understood the influence of the sun. An extra hour of
daylight. Fewer shadows to hide in. My life is Daylight Savings. Spring forward two thousand
years here. Fall back to the twentieth century. Same war. Different sunlight.

In the past it helped to conserve energy. Where I come from, Apocalypse changed the clocks at
will. Sunless days. Never ending nights. Oppression and tyranny. What is, is. Shifting the hands
on the clock change nothing. The sand sinks to the bottom of the hourglass and my people are
no less free.

I set the time back to the past, hoping it’ll save the future.

*Note: Nathan Summers is not a meteorologist.

New Schrodinger’s Webcomic In Constant State Of Update And Non-Update

Gaining an astonishing amount of fame in it’s short existence is Dracomb’s Orb, a fantasy webcomic dealing with a fairly generic fantasy setting while also dealing with the existential crisis of the characters inside with metaphyiscal threats, reader interaction and this palpable sense of dread the builds up in the series. The biggest problem though is that the comic relies solely on the fact that the comic may or may not update – not due to scheduling problems but with quantum mechanics. Dracomb’s Orb is first quantum literary piece – a webcomic in constant states of update and non-update that only leaves that state once the site is pulled up or is refreshed.
George Crosky, the engineer behind the comic explains, “The simple idea of Schroedinger’s Experiment is that if you limit the outcome to one event and seal it off where you can’t view the result, while the experiment is in progress it is in a quantum state of being both completed and non-completed. The cat is the most famous example where there is a radioactive material that will kill a cat in the box eventually. If you cannot sense what is going on in the box after 5 minutes the cat could be alive or dead and that is the quantum uncertainty. With Dracomb’s Orb we delved into some more advanced quantum mechanics but what we do is we have accessed random servers from other worlds every time the page loads. Until that page loads we cannot but sure if there is an update or not placing it in a quantum update state. Luckily with thousands of readers constantly refreshing, we’ve pulled in some 2000 updates in the past week.”
While there are some issues with the storyline not matching up or different art styles the popularity of a quickly and infinitely updating webcomic appeals to millions of comic fans who will do what they can to keep the comic updating.
*Due to the quantum state, we were unable to acquire any images of the comics.

The Gray Area Reborn: Ultimate Spider-man

Originally The Gray Area ran on Socialfist and was written by Tribe One aka Niles Gray aka The Evil Villain Demonos aka Devil Rhymeosaur. While Niles is currently on tour with Adam WarRock, MC Lars and MC Chris he has given us the permission to rerun the old articles.
Originally published online May 20, 2011 at Socialfist as “Ultimate Spider Man: A Brief Retrospective.”

I have read every page of every comic of the series Ultimate Spider Man. I have read every word in every word balloon. And Brian Bendis wrote every issue, so the savvy among you know that means a whole lot of word balloons. So, what am I getting at? Am I trying to impress you? Only kind of. What I really want to get across is that it is totally possible–and entirely worthwhile–to read every issue of Ultimate Spider Man.

I read the first 110 issues in trade (I think that’s volumes 1-18 or 19) for free at my local library. Every library with a halfway decent collection of comics will have it, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find without dropping the $1000+ 25 volumes of trades would cost. I happened to catch up to the series just as the original artist, Mark Bagley, was ending his record-breaking run on the series and Stuart Immonen was just beginning his run with issue 111, an issue they both drew. I’ve been buying the single issues since then.

Looking back on the series, the thing that strikes me most is just how good all of it is. It’s pretty astonishing to think that after 160 issues you can consider the whole and not find a single weak point. There’s arcs that are better than others, of course, but there wasn’t a single issue that I wasn’t completely engaged in. I have to believe that is one hundred percent a result of giving one man (Bendis) the series and the freedom to tell 160 issues’ worth of comics stories.

Another interesting thing about this series is that despite beginning in the early 2000’s and it now being 2011, only about a year has passed in-story. It makes perfect sense, but it’s weird to think about. It also shows just how skillfully paced the series is, with entire six issue arcs taking place all within a couple of hours or so in the story. What it boils down to, ultimately, is that Bendis has figured out the perfect formula for storytelling. Make no mistake, this series is formulaic as hell, but it’s so natural to the Spider Man mythos (I feel like such an asshole having typed that seriously) that it works to the utmost benefit of the story. Here is the formula: for every five bad things that happen to Peter Parker one good thing happens.

It’s genius. That one good thing makes all the difference in the world. It’s what makes Peter Parker not Matt Murdock.

Also, the series is more about Peter Parker than Spider Man. Yeah, Peter Parker is Spider Man, but you know what I mean. The most interesting parts of the story are the ones where Peter is interacting with the people around him out of costume and trying to live a normal life. He never can, which goes back to the five bad things, but it’s the attempt that makes the character seem real. He wants the same things we want. He does what we would do in his situation. No, that’s not quite right. He does what we hope we would do in his situation. That’s what makes Peter Parker the perfect comic book character.

And Brian Bendis does such a great job over these 160 issues of retelling classic stories or mashing up new ones and old ones or just completely creating new situations that this version of Spider Man, for me, is the definitive one. Of course, it’s not the real Spider Man. But if someone were to ask me what my favorite Spider Man story is, I guarantee it’s going to be something from out of Ultimate Spider Man.

Vertigo Zombies: Horrifying Teeth

Lost in the annals of time due to a rather large dispute with creators at the time was the event known as Vertigo Zombies. DC, who was gaining ground with it’s more artistic but less public friendly books, premiered Vertigo Zombies as a way to get the average comic reader to read Vertigo books pairing the Vertigo book characters with a fight against the undead hordes. Ultimately the normal artists and writers rebelled, for the most part, so Vertigo went out of house to create the books. The normal series creators ended up threatening to sue the company so the issues were never published but they were finished.
Join us this week though as we look at the covers and discuss what never was with Vertigo Zombies.

Vertigo Zombies: Horrifying Teeth

As opposed to the other parts of the event that took place in actual series, Horrifying Teeth took place in another plane of existence. It broke into ours to plant nightmares in our mind, to make our children cry at night and to make our dreams break.
There were 400 issues of this done.
None of them ordered.

None of them written with words.

Simply teeth. Over and over and over.

Staring at you like malevolent constellations. They were what you fear.

They made you your fear.

Of course then Jeph Loeb got asked to write the story out and did a decent enough job in one issue about creating these comics as the cause of the zombie infestation in universe. Though when it became clear that Jeph Loeb had become unsettled things began to fall

apart.

Secret Convention Items: Batroc Daredevil

Every year hundreds of thousands of people go to comic book conventions and unknown to them, like the fast food joints they eat at while at the cons, there is a secret menu of items. This is Secret Convention Items.

Batroc Daredevil
Not the depressing lack of a beard and mask.

For those collectors who like less action in their figures, Marvel and DC have done a fairly good job of creating lines of higher class busts and maquette figures for the richer members of the fandom. Ranging from $20 plastic figures to $40,000 lifesize statues, this ability to bring in this shrine to the comic gods is quite hard to resist.
In particular the Bowen designed Mini-Busts stand out as a special object of desire and fascination creating figures of a myriad of characters from ones that people want to others that seem to be a waste of space. Along with all of these figures are the rare variants, hidden in box by some retailers to make the sale even better. Of course the rarest variants are the unofficial ones – messed up paint jobs, incorrect models and all of this variety of error which brings us to the object of this week’s Secret Convention Items – the Batroc Daredevil.
The Batroc Daredevil is essentially a Daredevil figure mistakenly (or purposefully depending on whom you ask) painted as Batroc the Leaper. The characters have little in common making the entire idea rather ridiculous and for the most part there is very little hate between the two to make the piece ironic.
As for the origins, it is hard to figure out if this was a custom piece that got in box or if this was yet another weird manufacturing error. Based on the fact that Batroc is a figure with arms and the telltale mustache and mask is gone, it gives validity toward the custom figure origin though it paint the picture that the customizer was extraordinarily lazy or making a weird point.
For now the only one in existence was picked up by accident by George’s Comic Hut, an outfit that commonly only exists at smaller conventions when the weather isn’t too bad in the Memphis, Tennessee area. Based on the last encounter the price of the bust is hovering somewhere around $800.00 or for a complete run of Devil Dinosaur in at least near mint.
Join us next week as we tell you about the Jack Kirby Civil Action Figure

Salad Days: Warren Ellis

[What follows is an excerpt from a lost interview conducted for a 1997 Holiday Special issue of Wizard Magazine. When pressed about the miniseries discussed in this piece, Warren Ellis declined comment, mustering only to shrug his shoulders shamefully while dramatically exhaling cigarette smoke. He appeared particularly morose.]

Warren Ellis, the brilliant Brit scribe behind the twisted companion piece to Kurt Busiek and Alex Ross’ MARVELS called RUINS, has a new miniseries shedding light on another dark corner of the Marvel universe he wants you to read.

“I honestly don’t care if you read it or not. The check already cleared.” Warren Ellis sits in an Irish pub down the street from his New York City hotel, jotting the occasional note into the frayed pages of his well worn moleskine. Beginning in February, Ellis and artist Mark Buckingham will be releasing a six issue miniseries starring New Warriors founder Night Thrasher, giving the notoriously controversial writer a new canvas to brutally paint his harsh interpretations of the superhero genre.

Wizard: Well, what drew you to Night Thrasher as a character?
Ellis: Tom DeFalco had read RUINS and some of my Vertigo stuff and was quite the fan and asked if I’d fancy taking a stab. I’ve never read an issue of NEW WARRIORS in my life, nor did I know anything about the character.
Wizard: So, how did you end up getting the gig?
Ellis: DeFalco sent me copies of some pertinent storylines and they were just awful. He’s basically a black version of Batman, if instead of a bat, a methed up Rocket Racer had crashed through the window. I about pissed myself from crude laughter.
Wizard: …but, you agreed to do the series?
Ellis: Of course, I did! It’s a check. I told them I’d write THREE THE HARD WAY, but with Night Thrasher, Blade and Cloak from Cloak and Dagger and they agreed to pay my rent anyway! Do you think DC would ever let me do this with Cyborg? Fuck no!
Wizard: Will any of Night Thrasher’s comrades from New Warriors be making any cameo appearances?
Ellis: Well, Speedball shows up as kind of a Jimmy Olsen type assistant, but he’s coked to the gills and ends up being kind of a damsel in distress. He’s basically the well meaning friend who wants to join in on the cool black guy party, but fucks it all up because he’s off his tits.
Wizard: Was there anything editorial wouldn’t let you get away with?
Ellis: I did have a scene where Luke Cage calls Thrasher an Uncle Tom and they settle their dispute with a malt liquor drinking contest, and that was denied. It was really for a bet with Ian Edington, though, so no real loss.
Wizard: So, is the miniseries largely parody?
Ellis: Well, I’m pitching it more as a satirical urban jungle espionage thriller, but that may be the gin talking.

Vertigo Zombies: Animal Man

Lost in the annals of time due to a rather large dispute with creators at the time was the event known as Vertigo Zombies. DC, who was gaining ground with it’s more artistic but less public friendly books, premiered Vertigo Zombies as a way to get the average comic reader to read Vertigo books pairing the Vertigo book characters with a fight against the undead hordes. Ultimately the normal artists and writers rebelled, for the most part, so Vertigo went out of house to create the books. The normal series creators ended up threatening to sue the company so the issues were never published but they were finished.
Join us this week though as we look at the covers and discuss what never was with Vertigo Zombies.
Vertigo Zombies: Animal Man

Vertigo Zombies: Animal Man functioned as a parody of Grant Morrison’s third wall breaking and introspective series where instead of printing any new material, they just printed the script to the comic they wrote and then added a bunch of hand drawn dicks over pictures of Grant Morrison’s face. The work in a whole remains unattributed but sources are fairly certain T’narg nos Irrom, interplanetary wizard and foe of Morrison was behind the comic.

Animals Protest DC’s Speciesist Hiring Policies

Birds Protest DC Relaunch
One of the several birds that flew into the DC Offices.

As we continue to avoid giving press coverage to any other comic company trouble continues to stalk and beat DC into submission. Recent news of speciesist hiring policies hit DC today when a bunch of birds flew in through an open window. The news was not even covered by anyone else but at Nerdcenaries, we hold a higher standard to making up news that is so important in our 24 hour news cycle.
According to our reporter who was there during the protest, the birds were there protesting the lack of nonhuman writers and even characters that have been absent in the recent DC reboot.
A bird I saw on the ground hopped around interpretively dancing its message before I tried to grab it. “Listen, we use to have Krypto and Comet and all of the other super animals. I mean there was a goddamn monkey – and those were just related to the superfamily. What about Ace the Bathound, Crosby he Fast Cat, Stumpy the Cyborg Turtle and all of the other characters? These policies are making it even harder for the animal kingdom to even want to purchase comics, let alone actually do it!” This news does nothing to help DC who is already under fire for presumed sexist characters and hiring policies, allegations which they have formerly denied.
When asked about the birds, the workers were exasperated and confused by the fact that there were birds in New York after the snow and that they were also tropical birds native to the Caribbean.
The source of these birds is currently unknown but if you find them, please return them to the Nerdcenaries offices. They eat sesame crackers and drink Pinot Grigio and are well loved.