Greetings From Immortang

GREETINGS FOOLS, MY NAME IS IMMORTANG THE IMMORTAL ORANGUTANG AND AS MY CRIMES HAVE BEEN SO HEINOUS AS DEIGNED BY THE 24 HOUR NEWS CYCLE, I HAVE BEEN ORDERED TO RELEASE MY BOUNDLESS FURY BY PREPARING THIS LIVED-JOURNAL UNDER PENALTY OF JAIL WITH NO PROBATION.

I am also being censored now since I am being forbade, yes I Immortang the Immortal Orangutang, from speaking in all caps. The “civilized” barbarians of the modern world are once again dealing heavy blows to my ability to express myself, just as they did when I attempted to turn the President into an ape. All of a sudden my jovial prank turned into racism. I was not aware of the electoral process and the fact that we had a black president! I cannot vote! I live in the forests in a base surrounded by apes! Now my human mother will no longer talk to me. I am getting the cold shoulder from Mr. Fish. I did not know there were racial connotations! Yet what is a super genius turned orangutang human hybrid expected to do?

Either way, I am imprisoned and must write this journal that I may one day gain my freedom from this giant prison. While I lack the abilities of these other supervillains and yet if I were to capture their powers, I might destroy my foes and effectively destroy the super fools once and for all. By which I mean to… I shall… reform my actions that I may become a positive role model and I shall not need to sleep in a cell with Electro any longer.

Electro is a horribly incompetent fool. He is always babbling on about Spider-man. I could kill the Spider-man with his powers so easily. The average human is able to withstand at max around 400 volts considering that the ARACHNAFOOL is stronger than the average human. At the same time, the tram system running beneath the New York City contains 500 to 600 volts. Create a perimeter of electricity in the subway and condense it around him. He will be dead and you can go on getting revenge or what have you.

And here is the other kicker, if Electro wishes to succeed as well as STOP READING OVER MY SHOULDER YOU BUFFOON, all he may need to do is go smaller. If there are dozens of superheroes in New York City, go to another location. Chicago for example has no heroes or not and while the Spaceknights are located there, they have no members to speak of. The area has a large financial sector, a typically uncaring population and a varying crime rate. YES, ELECTRO YOU SHOULD GO TO CHICAGO AND TAKE OVER, MY GOD.

Of course I am not supporting crime as crime is evil and I am reformed at this time. SO PLEASE LET ME LEAVE!

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