DC Announces “Screw This, Comics Are Just For Kids Again”

In a shocking turn of events, Geoff Johns and Jim Lee announced they were turning away from material aimed more at adults to appeal to the children’s book market. Johns commented “Listen, we want to see books just for kids. I’m tired of all of this vitriol coming from adult readers. Boo hoo, you don’t like Starfire being slutty. Boo hoo Catwoman has sex. You know who wants to read these stories – kids.”
Johns announced that he’ll simply be adding a kid’s friendly sticker to all of the current NDCU52 books and just keep going as usual.
Other all ages comic creators like Paul Tobin and Roger Langridge expressed shock on Twitter. “While most books should be all ages, there needs to be an actual push for better all ages content,” commented Tobin. “If you want a kid’s book it isn’t about just advertising the book but it is about creating content that kid’s can read and share with their family. Also you need to secretly add in Cable every page but that is neither here nor there.”
Market analysts at DC predicted that this new move will cause a rapid loss in sales due to the fact that kid’s don’t have money.

Luke Herr

Luke is a writer and an aspiring professional comic writer who is also the editor in chief of Nerdcenaries. He currently is working on a graphic novel called Prison Spaceship.