Hard Rock Hotel Vanishes After MorrisonCon Massturbation

In the orgasmic throws of the ending ceremony of the first MorrisonCon, the entire Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas vanished. Police reports that at exactly 1 am Monday, the entire Hard Rock Hotel and all of those inside the hotel promptly vanished. MorrisonCon, which at the time was holding a seminar called the MassTurbation seems to be linked to the disappearance. The MassTurbation was according to the website “a late night mass celebration built towards permanently bringing in a new Golden Age through group self pleasuring.”

Previously, Grant Morrison, famed author and occultist had successfully used group masturbation to continue his series The Invisibles. The plan was to make a more focused event that would bring the Golden Age, a decade where mankind would come together and put the mass of society together as one spiritually connected entity.

Currently, police and other law enforcement members are still baffled by the disappearance which caused the Hard Rock Hotel and it’s foundations to cleanly sever from the Las Vegas Strip. Included in the missing parties are the members of My Chemical Romance, Jim Lee, Akira the Don and numerous other comic and music celebrities.

At this time, the only video of the actual event comes from a Vimeo livestream that had been taped at the time. Moments before the disappearance, Morrison was levitated into the air, spoke with the voice of everyone in the world singing a still unparsed song before causing a complete 10 second silence. The walls of the building then turning pure white and then the stream disconnected.

While police are unsure of what to do after the MorrisonCon disappearance, this event is still smaller than when John Byrne caused the entire city of New Seattle, Washington to vanish into the aether for 9 month after New Seattle Comic Con.

Texas Man To Launch Hulk Comics Collection Into Space

Lubbock, Texas resident Dan Water made official plans with the state government to launch his Hulk comics collection into space. Water, who had been collecting the comic since the early 1970’s, had recently fallen on hard times. When asked for a comment he said “Folks, I don(sic) know what is happenin (sic) in this country anymore. One minute Hulk’s a clown, the next he’s red, suddenly there’s a Deadpool Hulk and now he’s on a jetbike fighting crime? I don(sic) know what is a happening so I’m sending them into space”.

While Water is not the first comic fan to feel lost and concerned in the complex character continuity but he the first to resort to building a strong enough missile to propel the comics into space. Water, an amateur surgeon in Lubbock who also dabbles in the occult, physics and rocketry (he added the importance of all of these interests) has invested at least $5000 in preparing the rocket. “I used most broken car pieces, some high grade explosives and a few other things.”

Why Water hasn’t simply donated his Hulk comics or at least shredded them has confused his neighbors, authorities and his wife, because if he just dropped his collection at the local hospital or took the time to sell them, he’d save a lot of money. It really doesn’t make sense. The launch will take place Saturday the 29th, in time for the Feast of Jarakkis, Eater of Souls.

Booster Gold / Blue Beetle To Die In “Suicide Squad” Crossover

Fan favorite characters Booster Gold and Blue Beetle, the favorite heterosexual lifemate couple of the pre-52 universe, have been slated to die in an upcoming Suicide Squad and Blue Beetle crossover “Suicide Pact”. Booster Gold who was previous featured in Justice League International, now cancelled, will be forced onto the Suicide Squad by Amanda Waller for an unknown crime and the team will be sent after Blue Beetle.

Writer Adam Glass on twitter commented “I really want to try and make something that hasn’t been done before. I mean, Booster Gold and Blue Beetle used to be friends but that’s weird. I mean what kind of thirty year old is friends with a high schooler – so I started to think if they won’t be friends, they’ll be enemies. It is an either or thing.”

When Glass was asked about fan reaction he candidly replied “No matter what happens, some people are going to be angry. I’d rather try not to cater to fans who want me to tell the same stories and use characters the same way. It isn’t working for titles that are doing that – I mean Booster Gold had a fanbase but not enough of one to keep a title! That means that the fans need something else to pull them in and get them interested in the character and I believe having fan favorite characters as enemies might do that. Haters to the left.”

Haters to the left indeed.

Email Reveals Lost Batman Brave and the Bold Episodes

A recently leaked email revealed the plans for the second half of season 3 of the critic and fan acclaimed Batman Brave and the Bold which were not produced for unknown reasons! More news as it comes!

1 – No Sleep For The Sandman!
Teaser: After a battle with The Mist Batman teams up with Starman (Jack Knight) to sort his store before it is judged.
Main Plot: Sandman (Wesley Dodds) and Batman team up to stop his old partner Sandy, who seeks to put all of the world to sleep.

2 – Plight of the Stars!
Teaser: Batman and Claw the Unconquered fight a giant dinosaur made out of ice created by Killer Frost
Main Plot: Batman teams up with Vixen who is dealing with the loss of B’wana Beast as they fight the evil Starman.

3 – Theft of the Jungle Gems!
Teaser: Batman and Aquaman find themselves forced to fight each other by the Robot Lords of Clocktown controlled by the Brain.
Main Plot: Batman and Starman try to hunt down the monsters being summoned by Felix Faust in the jungle who also captured his father.

4 – Greed of the Orange Lantern!
Teaser: A mysterious orange meteor crashes to Earth, when Batman is called he finds Lar’fleeze
Main Plot: Batman has to watch after Lar’fleeze who wants all of the glory for himself so Batman eventually tricks him into going to other planets to get his own glory.

5 – The Stretched Caper!
Teaser: Batman and Batlash find themselves in a heap of trouble when Quentin Turnbull sets a stampede against them.
Main Plot: Batman is stuck to Plastic Man when they are his with a heat attack by Volcana and must learn to work as one until the dissolving solution Batman made will be ready.

6 – When The Doctor Rings!
Teaser: A mysterious flower painted bus crashes into the Louvre museum and a team of figures in black (The Brotherhood of Dada) steal a painting.
Main Plot: Batman and Doctor Mid-Night have to help the rest of the Justice Society of America when Kobra poisons them. Batman would prefer to be punching villains.

7 – Bats of the Swamp!
Teaser: When Clark Kent/Superman tries to find out what is causing such a big crowd outside of the Daily Planet, the revealing of a painting causes all of Metropolis to vanish.
Main Plot: Batman must team up with Swamp Thing to stop the Floronic Man and Poison Ivy from mutating all of the plants in the world.

8 – Enlisted and Encoded!
Teaser: Batman and Superman must team up in space to fight Solaris, the Anti-Sun who Batman defeats when he finds out it is a computer.
Main Plot: Batman is enlisted for help by GI Robot when they find Gorilla Grodd creating an army of robo-gorillas.

9 – Doom and the Dada!
Teaser: The new Doom Patrol including Flex Mentallo are called to disocver what happened to Metropolis.
Main Plot: Batman and the Doom Patrol meet up to stop the Brotherhood of Dada and their painting that is eating cities.

10 – The Infinite Typewriter!
Teaser: Batman and Flex Mentallo team up to train only for Aquaman to keep interrupting them.
Main Plot: Batman finds himself in an alternate world where there are no superheroes and he must team up with Grant Morrison to get back home via magic.

11 – Enlisted By Sinestro!
Teaser: A mysterious black ring lands on Earth next to B’wana Beast’s grave.
Main Plot: Batman is brought forward by the Yellow Lanterns where he must testify against being an agent of fear so he won’t be brought into the team, with help from Aquaman.

12 – The Black Lanterns Strike!
Teaser: The Black Lanterns begin to march on Gotham City!
Main Plot: Batman, Starman, the Doom Patrol and Aquaman are all that stands between Gotham City and destruction since there is a giant wall of zombie energy.

13 – Rainbow Action Scene!
Teaser: Batman rides a speedboat over King Shark’s head and then does a kickflip.
Main Plot: Batman and his allies all get Lantern Corp Rings and use them to defeat the Black Lanterns in a few seconds. This then crosses over with Green Lantern The Animated Series.

Marvel Announces “Wedding Of The Month!”!!!!!!!!!

In response to DC’s recent announcement that Wonder Woman and Superman would be engaging in a “relationship” apparently “made to last for at least 15 issues, or until we get enough hate mail that we think we need to retcon it and pretend there was a plan for that the whole time”, Marvel has come forward with its own announcement. Two of their biggest superheroes will get together in what Steve Wacker, when not defending his company from scurrilous remarks written online in comics’ blogs, called the “wedding of the month. Hell, maybe even the two-month. What’s that called, again? A fort-night? That, then.” Insiders at Marvel have given a short-list of superheroes that might tie the knot, or at the very least, share a few kissing panels before their relationship goes the way of H.A.T.E.

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Read Comics in Public Day

So yesterday was International Read Comics in Public Day. Did you participate, hypothetical reader? (I did.)

I think that this day is really good for nerd visibility. I mean, I assume that’s why it was started: to prove that we aren’t all basement dwelling cave monsters. (But really, if we were, how would we get our comics every Wednesday?) It’s nice to show the rest of the populace that we’re all most pretty regular human beings with a regular human being hobby. While I think that the general mentality towards nerds has shifted favorably in the last few years (considerably so), I remain suspicious that there are still people who think we’re actually all Comic Book Guy.

Well, you guys anyway. I’m actually not sure how the general populace stereotypes nerd girls. (Nonexistent? Attention seekers? Jess from New Girl? I hate that show.)

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