Author: Jon Hex

Aesop’s Ark #1 Review

Jon Hex

Aesop's Ark Cover #1. Art by Jennifer L. Meyer.

AESOP’S ARK

Written by J. Torres, Illustrated and Lettered by Jennifer L. Meyer
Review by Jon Hex Brooks

Imagine being on a boat, a bare bones affair with no amenities, just the basic necessities for survival. You’re crammed in with all the other desperate people hoping that this boat will endure the world devastating flood outside. With 40 days and 40 nights of relentless creaking ahead of you, how do you stay positive, stay sane? This is the core idea of Aesop’s Ark except the people trying to break the boredom are the collected animals of Noah’s Ark.

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Johnny Knoxville To Resurrect TEAM AMERICA for Marvel

Jon Hex

Team America, Marvel’s cash-in on the fame of motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel, is set to be rebooted by Johnny Knoxville, the actor who gained famed performing “stunts” for the Jackass TV series on MTV. Where the 70’s Team was a traveling group of motorcycle performers who fought crime, this new iteration will see a team of skateboarders who perform across the country and fight crime.

“I really wanted to capture that sense of wonder from the original series. Like, “I wonder why stuntman are fighting terrorists” and “I wonder why this dude in black is following them the around everywhere.” And seriously, R U Reddy? The fuck?” Knoxville announced while setting up a stunt for Jackass 4.6. “The guys will be pursued by the dark suited Black Shredder, who may or may not just be Ryan Dunn in costume, God bless him.”

Marvel is also going forward with revamps of US 1 written by Larry the Cable Guy and Killraven by the Church of Scientology. “I love money,” remarked Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada.

Congress To Vote On Secret Bill To Ban Continuity Discussions Online

Jon Hex

Set for an early morning vote in the Senate is a bill proposed by Sen. John McCain (R) to ban discussions of comic book continuity in online forums and social media sites. The bill comes hot on the heels of DC Comics massive reboot of all it’s current titles just last September. Readers almost immediately flooded sites with questions and complaints about how the reboot affected DC’s established continuity. DC has yet to fully establish a continuity for the books, with some books following past storylines while others ignore them completely.
“DC Comics is a well-established American company and we can’t let these online agitators derail DC’s success,“ McCain remarked when he massive volume of continuity bickering caused a disruption of internet service in 14 states. If the bill should pass, anyone found discussing past storylines in any context but review will be banned from Internet use for a month for the first offense and greater penalties for repeat offenders. A person caught more than three times could be subject to a lifetime ban from commenting on the internet.