Animals Protest DC’s Speciesist Hiring Policies

Birds Protest DC Relaunch
One of the several birds that flew into the DC Offices.

As we continue to avoid giving press coverage to any other comic company trouble continues to stalk and beat DC into submission. Recent news of speciesist hiring policies hit DC today when a bunch of birds flew in through an open window. The news was not even covered by anyone else but at Nerdcenaries, we hold a higher standard to making up news that is so important in our 24 hour news cycle.
According to our reporter who was there during the protest, the birds were there protesting the lack of nonhuman writers and even characters that have been absent in the recent DC reboot.
A bird I saw on the ground hopped around interpretively dancing its message before I tried to grab it. “Listen, we use to have Krypto and Comet and all of the other super animals. I mean there was a goddamn monkey – and those were just related to the superfamily. What about Ace the Bathound, Crosby he Fast Cat, Stumpy the Cyborg Turtle and all of the other characters? These policies are making it even harder for the animal kingdom to even want to purchase comics, let alone actually do it!” This news does nothing to help DC who is already under fire for presumed sexist characters and hiring policies, allegations which they have formerly denied.
When asked about the birds, the workers were exasperated and confused by the fact that there were birds in New York after the snow and that they were also tropical birds native to the Caribbean.
The source of these birds is currently unknown but if you find them, please return them to the Nerdcenaries offices. They eat sesame crackers and drink Pinot Grigio and are well loved.

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