Would I Date The 50 Comic Characters You Most Want To Have Sex With?

So James Gunn, the still to be director of Guardians of the Galaxy had a poll about the 50 Comic Characters People’d Want To Have Sex With. Not in and of itself horrible – there are men on there, there is a person of color (non-alien), one LBGT character and then… well, then Gunn kind of was himself – a nasty homophobic misogynist who riled up a lot of people. But I’m going to approach the list different but when it comes to these characters, I want to discuss whether I’d have chemistry with the characters or not before even thinking about having sex. Whether I think they’d get along which for me is ultimately more important. And even though I am a straight guy, I’ll consider the guys too.

Would I Date The 50 Comic Characters You Most Want To Have Sex With?

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman is a pretty intimidating feminist figure in a very good way. She’s intelligent, assertive and strong in more than one way. Honestly though I do think that the New 52 status would lead to issues with the whole retconned Amazon slave trade but I think there might be some interesting things to talk about while I’d cower in fear as she describes savagely destroying her enemies in the Underworld. It would be more of a dinner one time and then cry to myself in the fetal position situation. Speaking of crying in the fetal position though…

Batman

Batman is rich, attractive, strong, well educated and according to fanboys well hung? Well he sounds like a catch but those late hours, the inability to stay through a movie and the Bruce Wayne persona would all be pretty big warnings to me. And the trauma – he still has a lot of stuff to work through. I’d probably wait two hours for a date and then he’d never show up while I’d watch Batman on the tv punching out the Riddler. Punctuality is important!

Catwoman

Selina has a rough past and is involved with the bad side of crime. The whole flagrant lawbreaker aspect is a turnoff ideologically and what you do says a lot about relationships.

Rogue

I will be honest, a colored streak in the hair is a thing for me and she can fly which is awesome but the inability to easily embrace or even touch at all would be tough, and honestly she seems pretty attached to Gambit. That prevents any long term relationship but having someone like her for a friend would be nice – she’s struggled through alot but keeps on fighting and she seems like she could be there to help you in the hard times as well.

Gambit

Ze Cajun accent, those enchanting eyes and the “fashion style” – dang. Who else can rock a trenchcoat over a neon pink shirt? For whatever reason Gambit (and Nightcrawler) were my favorite X-men growing up. He has that weird cool around him though I’d be concerned about him peacocking me (peahening me) so I’d stay away. And he seems like a bit too much of a player for any long term commitments.

Storm

Strong, intelligent and also married to T’challa, heavy duty style. While 80′s Storm hits once again on the list of haircuts I really like with that mohawk, I think we might rub each other the wrong way a bit too much and would just end the date at the night there at the restaurant.

Emma Frost

Dating Emma Frost would be the most intimidating 3 minutes of my life before I’d run out screaming in fear. I respect her, I think she has is a strong woman but with the often unfortunate sense in clothing but she’d scare the heck out of me.

The Black Widow

Redhead Russian assassin with a background in intelligence. Lots of dinner conversation there but I have a hard time seeing much of a long term relationship going on or anything after the first date. I sort of see her as having one of those OK Cupid profiles with her holding up automatic weapons and pointing them offscreen.

She-Hulk

Intelligent and strong but with a humorous side – that’s what I’d like to see in a girl I’d date. The fact that she is also a lawyer would be icing on the cake and I think we could talk a lot about movies and entertainment and then it would be a situation where I’d be entranced and she’d not feel a spark and I’d be like “It’s cool.”

The Black Cat

Felicia has a bright side to her attitude but once again the vagrant villainous criminal aspect is a dealbreaker for me ladies (and fellas not including Gambit).

Jean Gray

Smoother than Emma Frost, less likely to read my mind without my permission and a redhead (I have things I like). Jean would be definite dating material for a while but it would probably end when the Phoenix emerges or she gets killed by the X-foes for a few months. Short term dating material.

Superman

Man of Steel, cares about people but I honestly couldn’t keep him from his work. Also Lois/Superman OTP.

Zatanna

Funny, smart and magical. She seems like she’d be a lot of fun and we’d really get along and then the relationship might move to the weird phases of being like “so what does you father do” “he’s dead and was also a magician” and then I’d be like “oh wow, well my mom is a pastor for a religion that thinks you are fake” and the rules of dating would result in that being taken the wrong way and a comedy of errors would ensure with me becoming a frog.

Wolverine

I..I think I’d go in, order a rum and coke to drink and he’d just walk out and yell out in anger at the blind date.

Power Girl

Intelligent, strong and a business woman along with being funny and very human plus a feminist. I think we could get along pretty well and her relationships aren’t fridged that often but as much as I might like it I think I’d have a hard time seeing a long term future with her. Short term dating.

Iron Man

I’d wake up with a hangover in one of his mansions, get tossed a shirt and then I’d cry while Jarvis would drive me home.

Elektra

This falls under the “women I’d be afraid might kill me, 0% 0% 99% OK Cupid score” category and her photos would be her posing with her knives over the bodies of dead enemies.

Invisible Woman

Mom with two kids, a loving husband and most likely a supervillain behind it. I’d be a straight up gentleman and alert Reed. Seriously, they’ve been married some 40 years now? Puppetmaster is probably involved.

Supergirl

Artsy, brainy and fun girl? Sounds cool but seems more of friend territory for me, maybe a bit too young to date? Something totally casual. See some movies, go to an art exhibit and she ends up vanishing in the bathroom a few times everywhere we’d go.

Black Canary

Strong, fierce but I don’t think we have a lot of similar interests or experiences to talk about or bond over. On the other hand she can rock a jacket which is in the plus category.

Nightwing

I don’t know much about the guy. It’d be hard to get a read – I mean he’s like less depressing Batman, less damaged Bruce Wayne but I can’t see much of a relationship.

Spider-man

Nerdy, funny and intelligent and he’d get my references. If nothing else a nerdy bromance hangout and platonic friendship. If more… EVERYTHING, until he starts coming late to everything.

Dazzler

I still enjoy disco, it seems like she’d know some cool places to go but it seems more of an activity partners kind of relationship.

Doctor Manhattan

Too cold and unfeeling and the whole “In 5 seconds you will walk out of this restaurant” thing would be pretty grating. Very quickly. Before it happened. Finish your Ozymandias I already did it joke by yourself.

Kitty Pryde

Cute, nerdy and intelligent – the female Peter Parker with less vanishing to fight crime? Hey, dating Kitty Pryde would be cool and we’d probably hit it off. Long term dating yo.

Thor

Thor seems like a charming guy, you’d get to visit Asgard and beyond that I don’t see much between him and I. Still, getting drunk and having a solid wingman.

Psylocke

She has a lot of issues, the mind knives thing is cool but she seems a bit too dark to get along with, not much of a sense of humor.

Aquaman

King of Atlantis! Go to a dinner under the sea! Meet Mera! Get invited for a three way and feel really awkward and walk out and drown in the ocean. Woops.

Superboy

The angry farmer type really isn’t my scene but under that exterior Connor seems like a nice guy. Hanging out could be fun.

X-23

Lady Wolverine who is too young, more aggressive and angry – not really my scene.

Jade

Green-skinned supermodel daughter of the first Green Lantern. I don’t know anything else about her so it is hard to say.

Batwoman

Ok James Gunn screwed this up by perpetuating the myth about men being able to cure lesbians so I am not even touching this one. The whole dark and scary Batman vibe would scare me off though and she is a lesbian. Like officially canonically.

Tigra

Tigra is a doctor and is also covered in hair and while I understand it is up to her to choose how she looks, there is kind of a point. And I mean, I don’t think I’d be able to resist getting out a laser pointer once or twice and the third time I’d get clawed in the face.

Stephanie Brown

Intelligent, athletic and smart. Stephanie would be cool to date but you’d try and figure out a second date and everyone would deny she exists. Rough.

Multiple Man

If not for the warring personalities, he’d be cool to date. Always a version of him up for something. And then you’d be on vacation, see him macking on someone else and the comedy of errors ensues.

Starfire

Fun loving, high spirited and energetic, Starfire would be pretty cool to hang out with, if not date. Plus – flying! Plus – alien culture! Downside – new 52 dress sense.

Spider-Woman

Spider-Woman is a character I don’t know much about. British, secret agent- she’d be cool to go on a date with at least once but I’d have to see beyond that.

Wally West

Wally seems like he’d be a nice person to spend time with, hanging out with and such but not really dating material for me. More of a bro hangout situation.

Ms. Marvel

Ms. Marvel/Captain Marvel/Carol Danvers is a great person and no lie, she’d be awesome to date. Not sure if she’d be into me though, I’m a web designer/writer and she is a test pilot superhero secret agent. Sigh…

Mr. Fantastic

Mr. Fantastic is honestly pretty scary. And married. But mostly scary.

And here is the point where I am going to stop. There’s a few I have no opinion on and I think I made my point where not looking at the female characters as sexual objects and people with backgrounds and interests is the best thing to do. It allows for better stories and it allows more people to become interested in comics by creating a positive environment.

Also I think I am a horrible monster because I think nobody will ever want to date me.

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