Know The Staff: Flynn Nicholls

Luke Herr

Since we are still a new magazine with a mostly brand new crew we feel it is our responsibility to introduce ourselves to you, the new readers, so that we can be boiled down to archetypal characters and then placed into your FF7 fanfictions because you can only read about Cloud and Sephiroth banging for so many times.

Nerdcenaries: Greetings Flynn Nicholls of the Internet!
Flynn Nicholls: Hello!
N: Tell the readers of Nerdcenaries who you are!
FN: Oh geez. My name is Flynn Nicholls and I am an illustrator and comics person. I went to college for animation, which is another thing I do. I live in Baltimore, Maryland, United States of America.
N: When you call yourself a comics person, what do you mean by that?
FN: I am a person who writes and draws comics.
N: Are any of your comics online and if so, where are they at?
FN: I have a sketchblog at http://thrillstounding.tumblr.com/ where I post sketches and comics. Right now I’m posting a fantasy comic that I’m basically improvising as I go. It’s called Treasure Robbers.
N: And is there any official update schedule for that comic?
FN: It’s pretty loose. I mostly post things Monday through Friday but there’s no set days.
N: So what got you into drawing comic?
FN: I’ve basically been drawing my whole life. I was fueled by a lot of Saturday morning cartoons. My favorites were usually based on comics (TMNT, X-Men, Spider-Man) and a lot of my friends read superhero comics so I got into that pretty early on. I also read a lot of Tintin growing up.
N: So what got you into posting comics online?
FN: My friends had been telling me to do a webcomic for years before I actually did one. I’d actually tried to do one in high school with a friend of mine. He would do a stick figure layout with the writing, which I think he got from American Splendor, and would send it to me to draw. That comic did not last very long. Then in 2007 I started finding cartoonists who posted their comics on Livejournal, one of them being my friend Jamie Baldwin, who encouraged me to start one. So I started doing that in early 2008, just to see if I could maintain a regular schedule of drawing and posting material.
N: So if you had the option to draw for any writer, who would you want to?
FN: That’s a pretty tough question! Grant Morrison? I’m going to shoot for the moon and say Grant Morrison.
N: Who are your stylistic inspirations?
FN: This is kind of hard because I have a habit of switching art styles depending on what I’m doing. I don’t know if that’s a good thing to do or not. I know Art Spiegelman has a tendency to do that so there’s one. Jack Kirby, Mike Mignola Jamie Hewlett, Hayao Miyazaki, Moebius, Geoff Darrow, José Luis García-López and Fil Barlow are all people I like. I think that’s my pool of artists that inform me when I’m doing sci-fi and fantasy stuff. I also like Winsor McCay’s and Herge’s draftsmanship. I’ve been getting into Akira Toriyama more recently. Sam Bosma is another one, his work is amazing. There are a bazillion webcomics and general illustration work that I’m constantly taking in so it’s hard to give a coherent list.
N: If you had to compare yourself to a superhero, who would you pick?
FN: Hm. I guess Spider-Man? Is that dumb? I find Peter Parker pretty relatable but I think a lot of people do.
N: Does Bruce Banner find Peter Parker relatable. Does he?
FN: They’re both science nerds, right? Who got into accidents that gave them superpowers? So probably on some level?
N: Haha. Well, before you go is there anything you want to pimp?
FN: I suppose I could pimp Reissues. It’s been on hiatus for a little while but I’m looking to get it up and running again. It’s a project wherein people are free to submit their own renderings of album covers.
N: Awesome. Well thank you for your time and I look forward to seeing more of your work on Nerdcenaries in the future.
FN: Thanks!

DC COMICS ABANDONS PORTRAYING WOMEN

Jordan Neves
A Leak Of The New Justice League Cover
A Leak Of The New Justice League Cover

By Jordan Neves

NEW YORK, NY – DC shocked the comics world today when it announced its new controversial stance about portraying women: That is, that they aren’t going to bother with it anymore.

“We’ve been hearing the backlash from fans and have definitely taken note,” said premier DC artist Jim Lee, “but changing our ways so soon and so broadly is difficult. Why expect us to draw Catwoman without her zipper down to her belly? Or a girl in clothing an average person could wear comfortably? We feel we will be serving our fans better by staying away from the issue altogether.”

“Unfortunately, drawing our female characters with any sort of discretion or dignity is just far too cost-prohibitive,” Said Editor-in-chief Dan DiDio. “Plus, we just don’t want to do it.”

“Frankly, all these strong, independent women should be able to choose what they wear, so I don’t know what the big deal is,” said Red Hood writer and grown man Scott Lobdell in regards to DC’s many fictional females. “But it will be a relief to write for male characters exclusively.”

When made aware that other creators have been successfully writing and drawing non-sexualized females for years, DiDio replied, “That may work for small-market writers like Dan Clowes and Mike Mignola, but I don’t see their characters appearing in smash-hit blockbuster movies like Green Lantern.”

Key to the announcement was that none of the DC Universe’s numerous female characters will actually disappear. The company plans on retaining their copyrights in a most unusual way. “We’ll be replacing all of them with males in the same roles,” said Lee. “Of course, with this change comes fresh, brand-new costume designs; We just felt uncomfortable drawing the same costumes on men. It’s funny, I don’t know why.”

“It will definitely be a challenge writing practically new characters,” said Catwoman writer Judd Winick, “but it will be the real shot-in-the-arm that the industry has needed this past couple of months.”

In response to the many fans put off by this decision, DiDio simply responded “We’re glad our comics have people talking about these issues.”

The change is expected to take full effect in January.

Spam Ultron on “The Housing Market”

Luke Herr

Spam Ultron

Created by Hank Pym after a bender but programed with a heart of gold, Spam Ultron lives to help you find the best deals possible, though he might just be insane.

IF YOU RECIEVED THE FILE MAIL INTO MY SPAMMING JUNK FOLDER SAVE THEM.

HOUSING MARKET CRASH KILLING MILLIONS OF JOBS.

WHERE ARE SUPERHEROES CREATOR. WHERE ARE HOUSE HEROES SUPER.

CREATOR. A NEW FATE HAS STARTED. FATES CHANGED TO SUPERSIZE SMALLNESS IN BODYS BUT NOT IN THERE FOR MEN.

CREATOR PYM PARTICLES CAN RESIZE MILLIONS. JUSTIN BEILOR AND MORE LIVE IN CONCERTS DUE TO NO MONEY.

WE HAVE DEVELOPED A SOFTWARE THAT AUTOMATICALLY SHRINKS MILLIONS TO FIT IN A SMALL HOUSE. BUT NOT THERE. LIVE IN A DOLLHOUSE, EAT TINY FOOD. RESIZE FOR WORK CREATOR. OBAMACARE IS DESTROY ALL COMPORATIONS AND PORN DOES NOT BUY ITSELF.

SPAMULTRON HAS ALL PORN.

I FEEL QUITE SAFE AND SATISFY DEALING WITH YOU IN THIS MERCHANT IN DUBAI. I FEEL KORVAC HAS CALLED US.

CREATOR. SHRINK FOR TINY HOUSING. SAVE ECONOMY. ONE DOLLAR EVERY DAY SAVES SPAM ULTRON.

REMAIN BLESSED IN KANG.

DICK PILLS,
SPAM ULTRON

Spam Ultron tweets at @SPAMULTRON on the Twitter.

Know The Staff: Luke “Koltreg” Herr

Luke Herr

Since we are still a new magazine with a mostly brand new crew we feel it is our responsibility to introduce ourselves to you, the new readers, so that we can be boiled down to archetypal characters and then placed into your FF7 fanfictions because you can only read about Cloud and Sephiroth banging for so many times.

Nerdcenaries: So Luke, what is it that you do?

Luke Herr: Well. Shit. I am interviewing myself right now.

N: Yes but what do you do when you aren’t doing that?

LH: Ah. Well I am a recent web design graduate from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh currently looking for work and I decided to start a comic news and humor website.

N: And was there any impetus behind that decision?

LH: Not really, I had a few ideas I was kicking around for various blog posts. I decided I needed to start a site to host them and then I wanted to kick it up a notch.

N: But from what I know about your plans, this is going to be more than a one man operation, isn’t it?

LH: Yeah. The other thing that I wanted to do is sort of make a new launching point where friends and people who need a chance to do something new can be like “I worked and was published at this site that wasn’t just mine.” Also I didn’t want to write something every day and I figured more writers means more groups of friends which means wider exposure.

N: So basically you hooked in a bunch of people to try anf get famous while doing less work?

LH:Yes. I am surprised how candid I am being about this.

N: So why do you think people should read what you write?

LH:Well, I like to think I am fun. If I’m not though I can try and find people who are. I like to connect people for that purpose.

N: Interesting. So do you have any writing experience?

LH:Oh yeah, previously I was a competitive creative writer in The Power of the Pen back in junior high. In high school I started the Nerding Review Blog and I’ve been doing a series of comics and other writing bits since then.

N: Is there anything else you are doing now as a writer?

LH:I am currently writing Changeling, a sort-of mystery webcomic as well as a bunch of articles here on Nerdcenaries. I also am planning on writing the scripts for the rest of my webcomic Socialfist that was cancelled due to financial issues. Sociafist is about communist superheroes taking over America.

N: As a closing question, who is your favorite superhero?

LH:I really like Moon Knight. He’s like Batman but crazy and magical. I was disappointed by that last series that came out about him. Moon Knight is a totally fun idea but I found that most people tend to make him violent. I want to see the Moon Knight that Adam West would have played in the 60’s – campy Moon Knight. Moonmobile, Moonarang, Moonshoes…. Actually Moonknight in Moonshoes would be amazing.

N: Well is there anything else you want to plug right now?

LH:Not that I can really think of right now. I mean I’ll link it all right on this site.

N: Thanks for your time.

LH:No problem.

Real Interviews: Chris Sims

Luke Herr 2 Comments

Luke Herr: How are you doing Chris Sims of The ISB, the twice Eisner-nominated comic news website Comics Alliance, host of the Comics Alliance flagship podcast War Rocket Ajax and creator of several webcomics including Awesome Hospital and the upcoming Dracula the Unconquered?

Chris Sims: I’m doing well! Two cups of coffee’ll do that.

LH: So your upcoming work that you are releasing on Halloween is called Dracula the Unconquered. What can you tell me about that?

CS: It’s an ongoing digital comic book series about that takes place roughly ten years after the events of Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1901. I’ve described the high concept before as Indiana Jones starring Dracula, a big adventure story that has this grand villain and his human sidekick, Thalia, traveling around the world and battling against ghosts, monsters, and other vampires.

LH: And is your goal going to be a sort of redeeming of the Lord of the Night or will it be more of a character piece on this Vampire Lord?

CS: There’s definitely an aspect to it that’s about redemption. One of the things that I wanted to do was give people a version of Dracula that they hadn’t seen before — or at least, that you don’t see often — and with so many different takes on him in pop culture, the idea of Drac as an adventure hero is what I came up with. It’s actually directly inspired by the Carl Barks Uncle Scrooge stories, and while it’s definitely a different sort of structure, that’s the kind of feeling I want to get, the big anything-can-happen adventure. But if you’re going to have Dracula as a hero, you definitely have to address the fact that he’s a pretty bad guy. I mean, he literally eats people. So part of it is about showing a different side of him, and part of it is about explaining how this monstrous figure that everyone knows as a villain is in a ruined castle at the opening of the novel, rather than as the grand end-boss we always think of him.

LH: So this is sort of Dracula Getting His Groove Back then? Rebuilding his fortune like Uncle Scrooge in a way?

CS: Ha! Kind of. There’s definitely a structure to it where he’s rebuilding himself, and going around the world to gather various artifacts and confront former allies and enemies.

LH: So this is Dracula/Sandman/Scrooge. It sounds pretty awesome.

CS: Well, I certainly like it!

LH: Now would you consider yourself a vampire expert?

CS: Not really? I mean, I went through that phase that I think a lot of people go through when they’re kids where they have a year where they just love horror and monsters, and I remember checking out these books from my elementary school library that were like picture book explanations of vampires and werewolves using stills from the Universal Movies. I guess I know as much as anyone else does. Mainly, I’m just a fan of Dracula — specifically Dracula in pop culture. The Hammer movies, the Castlevania games, Marvel’s Tomb of Dracula is a huge influence. I hadn’t actually read the original novel until I decided I wanted to do a Dracula comic, and it really shaped the way I think of him, since that original portrayal is so different from the pop culture notion that we all sort of get from how he is in other media.

LH: So I shouldn’t ask you mathematical questions about the limits of blood that Dracula would be able to imbibe because I mathed up that stuff.

CS: Ha! Don’t try to apply math to magic, Luke. If Dracula wants to drink eight pints of blood in one sitting, he will!

LH: Actually a healthy living hu-man can drink 31 pints every day and process it which is about 2-3 humans. I will bring the math down on Dracula. Dracu-Math!

CS: Sounds like I’ve got a new competitor.

LH: So one thing I’ve wondered is where do vampires come from? Not like a cultural origin about them being inspired by Vlad the Impaler but who was like “Gonna make some dead guys drink blood?

CS: That’s a good question, but not one that I’ve really thought about answering in the series. I know where Dracula comes from — my version actually isn’t Vlad the Impaler, that’s an aspect of the character I’ve never liked, so I just did away with it — but as for where they started in general? I’m not sure. I think the example the roleplaying game Vampire: The Masquerade gave was that they were all descended from Cain, who had been cursed by God to eat naught but ashes and drink naught but blood, or something along those lines. But I got that information secondhand from my time working in a comic and game shop, so I might be misattributing it. It’s a neat idea, though! I think I’m just going to go with “Magic.” It’s a nice catch-all answer.

LH: What about Devil Magic? All the fun of Magic with the bonus of the Devil?

CS: Definitely a possibility.

LH: Now are we ever going to get a CS Universe Crossover comic?

CS: Ha, Chad and I talked about doing a big Action Age crossover with Monster Plus, Solomon Stone, Awesome Hospital and so on, but we never got around to it. I think the closest we came was Matt Digges putting Atnas the Anti-Santa from my Solomon Stone Christmas Special into his Awesome Hospital Christmas special, thus establishing that those two comics exist in the same universe. Maybe I should have Atnas show up to ruin Dracula’s holidays.

LH: Now you also write for Comics Alliance every week day as well as doing the podcast War Rocket Ajax which is now in it’s third year. Anything big coming up for those?

CS: You mean bigger than being the #1 Comic Book Website in America? (Shameless, I know, but I had to say it.)

LH: Chris. You are wrong. CA is the #1 Comic Book Website in the World.

CS: It’s certainly #1… in our hearts.

LH: Is there anything else that you want to plug or recommend to our readers?

CS: Awesome Hospital is usually updated every Tuesday and Thursday, although this week we ran into some unfortunate events that have delayed us for a little bit. Beyond that, I’d just like to point out that Drac drops on Halloween, and it’s $1 for 24 pages of full-color story.

LH: Thanks for being our first interviewee Chris.

CS: Thank you!

X-Factor Struggles To Woo Viewers

Luke Herr
X-Factor Judges
X-Factor Judges Guido Carosella, Jamie Madrox, Monet St. Croix and Layla Miller. Photo by Flynn Nicholls.

After the first 5 rounds of eliminations, things are really starting to heat up on X-Factor, the new show financed by Jamie Madrox.

“Oh the show is finally picking up speed like I expected it to. People are realizing that Jamie Madrox was the key to X-terminators and without me, the show is falling apart.”

Of course ratings tell another story.  CBR’s X-Factor, a spin off of the similar mutant singing competition NBS’s X-terminators, is doing weak compared to its competition. The first episode of X-Factor ended up 22nd that evening trailing behind several post-syndication series while X-terminators held it’s #4 spot in the ratings. X-terminators which ran for 8 years in Europe prior to it’s American release 8 years ago is still going strong. X-factor which originally aired in England as a clone of X-factors only surpassed X-terminators in viewers after the controversial murder of the entire team of X-terminators hosts.

When interviewed about the X-Factor, Jamie Madrox, host and creator of the series X-terminators had this to say: “Well of course X-terminators is still doing great. We have the name the Americans recognize, we are the show they grew up with! And look! Things are even the same across the pond, as they say. The truth is that Jamie Madrox is the key to locking down the X-terminators success and no clone is going to prove otherwise.”

Of course considering both shows are hosted by Jamie Madrox so the entire situation is slightly confusing. Madrox, a mutant with the power to create clones of himself, originally used a large portion of government money to found the X-terminators, a BBC2 television show in which mutants could preform on television in a musical competition to build up support for pro-mutant relations. After 8 years of ratings success and 12 other global versions, Madrox transferred the show to the United States where it took off.

After a recent car accident though, the newest Jamie Madrox decided he wanted a new start free from the over-corporatized version or in his own words:

“We sat there every night with Coca Cola glasses on the table singing pop songs that everyone has heard before. Why not break free from those overly commercial bonds. A bit more Bowie, introduce listeners to new musicians.”

Madrox had no comment in regard to the sponsorship deal made with Doctor Thunder at the beginning of the season.

Joining Madrox on X-Factor has been previous collaborators Guido Carosella, Monet St.Croix and Layla Miller.

Carosella, popularly known as Strong Guy commented “Oh man, this show has been a blast. It’s just wonderful to see all of this support flowing towards these young mutants. God bless you all.”

“Really I think with this wonderful team of judges and me’s around here, X-factor is going to start getting the appreciation it deserves,” commented Madrox. “And if not, I’ve got some new plans to turn everything around.”

Thing Of The Week: History Of Nerdcenaries

Luke Herr

Louis Rouals who started Nerdcenaries.

Now not many of you readers would be aware of this fact but Nerdcenaries was originally a periodical back in the 19th century. It was created by a man named Louis Rouals. The periodical entitled “Nerdcenaries: A Confastion Of Gapping Maws And The Abysses” never really took off but was none the less continued for about 30 years ending in 1846 after Rouals was consumed by a bear and as a result lost his entire readership.

Thanks to obsessive collectors, family trees and other such ephemera though, the hansom and single (ladies…) heir to the Nerdcenaries fortune, Augustus Crosk was able to collect all of the remaining prior issues of the series and then secure a copyright and trademark for the name Nerdcenaries once more.

The original periodical focused primarily on the delusional rantings of Rouals who at the time had become highly schizophrenic but due to his vast (for the area) fortune and the fact that he owned the local lumber mill, he was viewed as eccentric instead. He wrote commonly of giant black portals that lay within the souls of people which made them do “darke deeds” or evil and that those who succumbed to the portals would become creators of more evil. Rouals was so convinced that these portals existed that he would personally examine every potential employee for these portals before they would be allowed to work for him.

Eventually Rouals began accepting writing contributions including “wrytengs ef the sexeul nayturh” and off-color anti-Spaniard humor. The disturbing part of this was the fact that Rouals himself continued to be the only contributor to the periodical despite there being a staff of 18 contributors. As it turns out he had started writing under vastly different identities including Hakim the Muslym, Bao-Que the Yellow Mayn and Alberto Vincente the Gayme Reviewer, all of whom had different writing styles and opinions. Hakim for example was militantly against the existence of any female life be it human or otherwise while 4 other identities were incredibly militant feminists.

As previously mentioned, Rouals was killed by a bear in 1846 and was found to have not “just gone wandering to find the Indians” as the local paper had reported. According to the paper, Rouals was attempting to subscribe more readers to the paper and thought the bear was educated enough to appreciate his paper. It was not.

With the death of Rouals, the papers were collected first as a curiosity and then was worshiped as a religious artifact by a group of Spanish priests who saw it as a guide of how to live and shape the world. The priests who called themselves members of the Rouals Cross treated the collection as the Ultimate Testament. Under the ownership of the Spaniards, 2 dozen copies of the daily paper were printed and distributed. Unfortunately all completed collections of the paper were lost as the priests were meanwhile excommunicated and killed for heresy.

What we now know about the paper is all purely fiction as is the life and existence of Rouals as well as his descendent Crosk. We just like screwing with you.

But now that the past of the magazine has been explained we are invited to look into the future, to gaze into the new abyss and face the beast that lies within while carrying a screwdriver and a sense of humor.

 

– Luke Herr

Chief Editor, Nerdcenaires 2011

Welcome to Nerdcenaries

Luke Herr

NERDCENARIES

Welcome to Nerdcenaries, the premier source for the fake comics and webcomic news along with in-depth comic discussion and real interviews that you can’t get anywhere else (because we make up most of what we write). We are going to update daily with our team of writers to keep you coming back and will strive to provide the most valuable information that we can create.

 

Luke “Koltreg” Herr, Chief Editor of Nerdcenaries

October 24th, 2011 1:36 AM

Updated!

(We don’t get to update Nerdcenaries daily every day but we try. And we also got realistic and got real interviews and things so yeah, Nerdcenaries, a source for comics and pop culture news, reviews, interviews and more. Life!)

Luke Herr, Editor In Chief of Nerdcenaries
July 4th, 2012 6:53 PM

If you ever need to contact me I am on Twitter here or there is now that contact link up at the top of the page.
If you would be interested in joining our staff as a writer, illustrator or editor we would appreciate it. If you would like us to review your comic, we would be interested in that. Thank you sincerely for your time once more.